Let’s get real— “guilt” is never a word that should be associated with eating, but far too often is. If you’re experiencing guilt after eating, that may be a sign of something much more negative happening internally (i.e, your internal monologue is focused on “punishing” your body rather than nourishing it), and that can be cause for alarm.

However, I must admit— I’ve struggled with it, too. I’ve often eating something I thought I “shouldn’t have” (which is bogus, really), and felt guilty and even a bit shameful afterward. So, how do we fight those negative thoughts? How do we eat what we want (while maintaining good health), and accept that we’re allowed to nourish and celebrate our bodies while occasionally “indulging” in some foods just because they taste awesome and we want to? Let’s discuss—

Guilt-free eating always, and indulgence as part of the pie

When you eat, you are nourishing your body and giving it the fuel it needs to get through the day. Even lying in bed or resting your body requires calories to keep things running smoothly, which means you must eat to live. Additionally, eating can be a joyful experience that fills you with pleasure— and, IMO, it should be.

Eating good food releases copious amounts of dopamine in your brain, which means the feel-good chemicals get going when you’re feeling well-fed and satisfied (and especially if you enjoyed the food you ate). That said, there’s no reason to feel guilty for eating good food. Overeating can be unhealthy (if you eat until your stomach hurts, for example), but eating good food in normal amounts even if it’s “indulgent” is a-okay, and should be celebrated, not guilt-inducing.

Calories aside, if I am in New Orleans and want to enjoy a nice, steaming bowl of cheesy shrimp and grits, I’m going to do it, and I’m not going to feel guilty about it. Not for the high-calorie dish, because I genuinely enjoy it, and not for the glass of wine I might pair it with all the while. In moderation, it’s okay to indulge, even if the food you eat has been bogusly branded as “unhealthy” by the masses.

Like I said, overeating to the point of discomfort or missing out on key nutrients can be detrimental to your health. However, eating good food simply because you enjoy the taste and the experience (because well prepared food is delicious!) is okay, and is a reason for (and even symptom of) celebration, in my humble opinion. In Appalachia, we celebrate happy times with good food— Christmas dinner full of honey-smoked hams, Thanksgiving day full of my mamaw’s hearty mac-and-cheese, etc. etc. etc. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Life isn’t meant to be lived in guilt and shame, and food is a source of joy and celebration in every culture. So— enjoy it, and don’t guilt yourself for it. Period.

Xoxo, MM.

Ah, it’s Miranda’s favorite topic again— self-care and the reality of it being inherently not selfish.

What I mean is, self-care isn’t a selfish thing to practice at all, though some may try to warp its philosophy and intentions and project and/or view it that way (because they likely don’t practice enough self-care techniques themselves), but the old adage still stands: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Let me explain—

Where self-care begins, and why being “selfish” isn’t a factor

First of all, self-care begins when we make the conscious decision to treat ourselves with love, care, and protected status (as we likely treat many others). Self-care is not inherently selfish, as we can’t pour from empty cups and need to keep ourselves afloat in order to be the best version of ourselves for our families, friends, coworkers, and the like.

Doing things like splurging on yourself when you have the funds and taking time for yourself when you have the bandwidth aren’t selfish if they’re helping you stay afloat, but there’s a catch, sometimes—

Navigating the (sometimes) fine-line between self-care and selfish intentions

Sadly, some people can be selfish (as we all can be at times), and occasionally, unfortunately, it’s under the guise of self-care with slightly warped intentions. It isn’t selfish to practice self-care inherently, as I said before, which can include everything from physical self-care (splurging a little on mani-pedis that make you feel good, taking that solo trip you’ve been dying to take, etc.), to mental/emotional self-care (cutting off those toxic people in your life, which sadly includes friends and family members, sometimes), and so on— but, if you practice inherently selfish tactics and techniques that revolve around disregarding others’ feelings (in a sincerely hurtful way), that can be crossing the line.

For example, if you lash out at someone who sincerely doesn’t deserve it because you had a bad day and just need to “unload”, that isn’t self-care; that’s just being selfish, and hurtful, and you may need to take a step back and consider your own emotional regulation tactics. Did the person you spoke that way to actually deserve that? Likely not.

In general, practicing genuine self-care isn’t selfish in nature. If you’re doing something that’s good for you and your mental health and you’re genuinely not hurting anyone else (or their feelings, their property, etc.), then you do you, friend.

Xoxo, MM.

I am so excited to introduce our first guest writer on Miranda Muses: Jay David Lush. My friend, Jay, is a transgender man living in Newfoundland, Canada, and this is a story he’d like to share:

“Check it Out”, a true story by Jay David Lush

“Before I tell my story, it would be beneficial to explain a little bit about myself. I am a twenty-five-year-old trans man living in Newfoundland, Canada. In my own words, when I was born, the doctor’s said “It’s a girl!”, but I never agreed with that. I began taking testosterone to masculinize my physical appearance nearly three years ago, I had a total hysterectomy a year and a half ago, and in 5 weeks, I will be travelling to have top surgery which will remove my breast tissue and give me a more typically male chest. At some point in the future, I will undergo other procedures as well. I grew up in a very small town with around 300 people where everybody knew everybody, and bullying prevented me from truly being myself until after I left home. The story I’ll be telling today however, was after moving away from home, but long before I medically transitioned.

            It was the winter of 2016; I was just beginning to come out as a man to more people in my life. I was in the midst of buying a new wardrobe and finding who I really was. I moved away from home two years prior and being in a new environment solidified the things I had always felt inside. Having been away from home for some time empowered me to embrace my true self and begin showing him to the world. As an adult, I faced a mixed reaction to what I was doing. Some were vehemently against it, some were in full support, and some didn’t care or understand. It was much like my life before, but in a bigger place, if one person rejected me, it was easier to walk away and find support.

            The temperature was steadily growing colder, and snow was piling up on the sidewalks. I needed new boots since my old pair were starting to fall apart. I hopped from store to store, trying to find the best deal on waterproof boots that would keep me warm and withstand the brutal season. At my last stop, I finally found a pair. They were brown and black men’s boots, lined with soft, fluffy inserts. They were good for down to -30 °C. It took a bit of searching around, but these were a perfect fit. I walked up to the checkout, and the cashier directed me to another checkout.

I didn’t completely hear what she said, but I followed her until we got to the other checkout.  At first, it didn’t seem weird, a lot of stores have multiple checkouts, but when I looked above my head, I realised there was a sign above the checkout, that read: “women’s”. I frantically looked back at the checkout we just came from, and that one was labelled “men’s” to match. What on earth was happening? Time froze for a moment.

            I could feel my face go hot, and my ears were ringing. I wanted to leave immediately, but I needed the boots, and I didn’t have the guts to just walk out. I paid for the boots and left. I never returned to the store again. I was secretly a little bit creeped out that gendered checkouts existed in the first place, so much so that the fact that the cashier thought I was a woman didn’t get to me like it might have normally.

            At the time, I didn’t have a good understanding of how I likely looked to those around me. I thought that if I felt like a man, I wore men’s clothing, then anybody who did not immediately accept me was wrong. I was immature, and not fully aware that if somebody didn’t see me as a man it wasn’t an insult or deliberate hatred. At the time, I took things way too personally when it came to the way that people perceived me. I didn’t understand the difference between a stranger who didn’t know any better and someone with true hatred in their heart. I have learned since then that I cannot expect random people to know personal things about me such as whether I want to be referred to as male or female, and it has given me some peace on the matter. Still, at a time when a simple mistake felt like an intentional jab at me, I knew that this instance was different. Gendered checkouts weren’t normal, were they? I really wasn’t being dramatic this time, I wasn’t taking a normal thing personally. This was weird, and this was wrong.

  The interaction was over within less than 5 minutes, but it felt like forever. Even though this was 5 years ago, I still vividly remember it. A young, pre-testosterone trans man buys men’s boots and is brought to a women’s checkout? You can’t make that up. It still feels like I was living in a bizarre alternate universe. I’ve spent hours thinking about it and talking to others about it, wondering they would react if somebody braver than me had spoken up about it. I had never seen checkouts that were separated by gender like that before, I have never seen one again, and I hope that I never do.”

A link to Jay’s Top Surgery Fund: https://gofund.me/51997c10

Jay David Lush.

My friend Liz Gramling (AKA E.Gram, Lizzie G, all the cute variations therein) has a life motto that goes something like this: “Life is too short to not have what you want.”

And guess what? She’s right! I’m not saying you should go crazy, but my entire life I’ve noticed that people (especially women, for some reason) tend to feel guilty when they spend money on themselves.

Spending money on yourself and your wellbeing from time to time isn’t only not selfish, but it’s downright necessary and good for you at times, too, and let me explain why—

Why spending money on yourself and your wellbeing isn’t “selfish”

My entire childhood I watched my mother spend money on myself, my siblings, her grandkids, her friends, and the like, but rarely on herself. She would talk about how sometimes all she wanted was some new clothes or a nice new purse, but would often end up guilting herself into “Spending the money on something more ‘practical’” and guilt herself into simply spending the money elsewhere (and usually on someone else). She has a heart of golf (which contributes to much of this), but I always thought, “Doesn’t she deserve nice things, too?”

Well, yes— she does. At times we all do. And I’d wager that the best thing you can do sometimes for both yourself and for those around you is practice self-care, which means occasionally spending some of your hard-earned cash on yourself without feeling guilty if it would genuinely make you happy or improve your life in some way. Let me elaborate—

If you believe spending $500 (if you have it, and are in a good place financially at the moment, which is a statement on privilege as well but I digress) to enroll in an art class, a yoga class, or something of the like to increase your own skills and enhance your personal enjoyment, why would you not go for it? If you simply have an extra $20 and want to buy that cool, new T-Shirt you saw at the mall, why would you not?

I think we all have that nagging voice in our heads sometimes that tells us we should come last, but sometimes… we have to treat ourselves, if we have the means. Now, I’ll say again that having the means is certainly on privilege, but essentially I’m saying I don’t believe we should be made to feel guilty every time we spend a little bit of money on ourselves (for whatever reason) instead of our friends and family, especially if they’re being well taken care of and aren’t in need of anything at the moment. Of course you should put others first when they are in need, but when you’re in a position to splurge just a bit and everyone around you is doing alright, I say why not splurge on YOU for change?

Many people think self-care is simply lighting a candle and taking a few deep breaths when you’re home alone (and it can be that, sure), but the occasional spending a few dollars to buy yourself something you’ve been really wanting or needing, or even just taking yourself out to dinner or a show (or even just buying yourself a $5 bouquet of flowers!) can be so refreshing, and much needed.

So, why do we feel guilty doing for ourselves what we would do for others? We shouldn’t always come last in our own lives, and it’s okay to occasionally splurge on ourselves and treat ourselves when we have the means. Want to get your nails done and have some extra cash this month to do it? Then I say do it. Would it make you happy? Then it’s worth it— trust me.

Guilt can eat us all alive at times, but it amazes me that quite often the guilt we all feel stems from treating ourselves well, which is just… bizarre. As a woman it’s especially frowned upon to occasionally treat yourself (especially if you’re a mother, sadly), and the narrative is unfair and just leads to people being burnt out and, frankly, probably a little resentful that they never care for themselves when they spend too much time, money and effort caring for everyone else around them. So repeat after me: “Self-care isn’t selfish. Spending money on myself when I’m able isn’t selfish. I deserve to be happy, too.”

Saying that to yourself a few times a day can be so transformative, and that includes when it comes to the conversation of spending some real dollars and cents on yourself when you’re able, too.

Xoxo, MM.

This one is going to be controversial.

There’s no greater display of obnoxious privilege than refusing (unless you have a legitimate medical reason) a free, accessible vaccine during a pandemic, in a country that has plenty of them, while others around the world would give their freakin’ left arm for the privilege.

Protecting yourself— and thus, protecting others— from COVID-19 is a privilege all Americans, as of now, over 12 years of age can enjoy. Even if you get a rare, breakthrough COVID-19 case when fully vaccinated you almost certainly won’t become critically ill or die— a privilege the unvaccinated cannot (or rather, will not) claim at this stage. The virus is tearing through mainly unvaccinated people at an alarming rate in the US and around the globe (thanks, Delta Variant eye roll), and there are billions of people around the globe who would give anything to be protected from this deadly disease.

Now, shift back to America, where everyone over 12 has the ability to get the vaccine, for free, but for some reason some just… won’t.

Mind blowing. A mind blowing, obnoxious display of American privilege at its finest, the unvaccinated are ignoring the science and doubling-down in their wrongness… and it gets worse. The unvaccinated are multiple times more likely than the vaccinated to spread COVID-19 (particularly the Delta Variant) to others, and are creating dangerous, super-clusters of infection that allow the virus to further replicate itself and even worse— potentially mutate again, and again, and again.

All that said, I recently made a decision that was a bit controversial: Andrew and I threw a housewarming party in our new apartment (to celebrate our return to Philly), but we only invited fully vaccinated people to attend. And guess what? I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t feel guilty or “mean”, and you shouldn’t, either, if you make the choice to un-invite anti-vaxx folks from your social functions. Let me explain—

You have the right to protect yourself from those who don’t want to protect themselves or others

Bottom line? That ^^^. You have the right to stand your ground when it comes to protecting yourself, your family, your friends and your health. Though I trust the power of my vaccine and know that breakthrough COVID-19 cases in the fully vaccinated remain rare, this pandemic has become a straight-up pandemic of the unvaccinated and I refuse to coddle those who refuse the vaccine for illegitimate reasons. The science is out there (that they’re both safe and effective), and the science is clear when it comes to the vaccine’s ability to cut transmission and prevent symptomatic infection so… why allow others into your space if they’re refusing to protect themselves and those around them?

If I, a vaccinated person, spread COVID-19 (which remains rare but can happen) to an unvaccinated person, they could become ill and even worse, potentially become severely ill and, God forbid, die. Why would I want to take that risk? Someone refusing to protect themselves is one thing, but making me and my guests directly responsible for their health and wellbeing (when we’ve all taken the responsible steps to take care of our own health and wellbeing) is simply selfish on the un-vaccinated person’s part. At this stage, it is. And I’m not sorry.

It’s not your “right” to spread dangerous diseases unchecked throughout your community. It’s not your “right” to come to my house, wherein everyone has decided to protect themselves, and potentially become ill and place that guilt/blame/shame on me. Because, guess what? If you choose to remain unvaccinated for selfish reasons (because some legit, medical reasons do apply), I can choose to exclude you from in-person events.

Long story short: you have the right to say “no” to hanging out with unvaccinated individuals if you believe they pose a threat to you or to themselves, and you don’t have to explain yourself beyond that. You aren’t being “mean”, or “nit-picking”— you are choosing to protect yourself, your loved ones, and ultimately, the selfish unvaccinated person who has left themselves hyper-susceptible to a deadly pathogen during a pandemic. Period.

I know many won’t agree with this, but my point stands— you can love people from a distance when they aren’t being responsible, and that’s okay. You don’t need to feel bad about it and… I know I sure don’t.

Info on safety and efficacy of vaccines here, how to sign up, and more: https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/covid-19/index.html

Xoxo, MM.

As many of you know, Andrew and I made the move into our new apartment in Old City, Philadelphia, in late July. A neighborhood rife with history and the official birthplace of our nation, Old City has transformed in modern days into a tight-knit, residential and commercial neighborhood that offers a little something for everyone.

Since we’ve been here we’ve been exploring all of our favorite Old City haunts, but now as true Old City “locals”, and though we’ve been local to Philadelphia for over four years now, it feels like a fresh start. I’d say we feel most comfortable, however, in our apartment itself, which features our taste of modern x minimal decor, lots of natural light, and wide open spaces. Here, let me show you—

Our apartment in Old City, Philadelphia: decor, layout, and more

Our apartment is a corner unit overlooking the Center City Philadelphia skyline from two large picture windows. When you first walk inside, the small foyer is open to the open floor-plan kitchen and living room, which we’ve made ourselves quite at home in already with our usual use of neutral white, grey, and black tones:

What’s more, our two bedrooms (one is still unfinished, so more to come there!) feature more large windows overlooking the city, perfect for relaxing and watching the golden-hour turn to sunset over the skyline.

Our bathroom may (oddly) be my favorite room in the house— I mean, I spend a lot of time there doing my skin and haircare regimens, okay?— and it features marble tiled floors and a subway tiled shower (complete with a glass door; no need for a shower curtain) that I’m officially obsessed with.

All in all, we have a way to go, but this apartment is beginning to feel like home to us, and we couldn’t be happier. Our modern and minimalist style makes us feel refreshed and calm in our space, and Andrew and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, what’s your personal style? Rustic-chic? Maximalist? Retro or mod? Let’s discuss—

Xoxo, MM.

Ah, Love is Blind. The Netflix reality show that captured our hearts in the darkest months of quarantine is back with three new episodes, subtitled After the Altar. If you’re anything like myself (and my husband, who was initially forced— by me— to watch this dramatic, reality TV tour-de-force then became sincerely interested in the premise), you were ready to see what became of Damian and Giannina, Lauren and Cameron, Amber and Matt “Barnett”, and of course— Jessica, the wild card. That said, the new episodes revealed a good bit about where each couple stands post-season one, and the dramatic fallout (which may or may not have been a bit contrived by the producers, who knows) that awaits many of the “singles”, the “engaged”, and beyond.

So, wondering what’s been going on in Love is Blind: After the Altar? Let’s dive in—

‘Love is Blind’: Damian and Giannina, are they together or not?

Boy oh boy, has this one been a roller coaster of emotion. Damian and Giannina were fiery from the start (with Damian leaving Giannina at the altar when she was ready to give him her all in season one), and that flame has clearly not completely burned out.

All I can say (without saying too much) is this— the anniversary party thrown by the Hamiltons (Lauren and Cameron) and the Barnetts (Amber and Matt) is the new episodes’ central focal point, and when Damian brings a new woman along to the party things get a bit… messy. I’m definitely #TeamGiannina on this one, though this couple seems to have a complicated history and definition of “being together” (like— are they or aren’t they?). I guess we’ll all have to stay tuned to find out, y’all— and the drama in these episodes reveals there’s certainly more to come.

‘Love is Blind’: Lauren and Cameron, the perfect couple (and they still are)

What can be said about the Hamiltons except for the obvious? They were the perfect couple from the start and their love story warms my heart. Every time I watch the show I notice how Cameron looks at Lauren— like she’s an angel on this earth, as he should— and it lets myself and the other viewers know that this couple is the real deal. From meeting two years ago on Love is Blind to developing their relationship and marriage into a powerful testament to true, “blind” love, this couple is doing better than ever and their emotional maturity and security shines through in every scene.

Watching this couple is a pure joy, because it seems rare to find a love like this ever, in general, and especially on a reality TV show. They love one another fully, communicate better than most, and seem to be bonded in a way that can never be broken. I’m #TeamHamiltons all the way, y’all, and these three extra episodes affirm that their love is one to last.

‘Love is Blind’: Amber and Matt “Barnett”, and their “Lord Voldemort“, Jessica

Ah, the most annoying couple on the series (IMO). Matt Barnett (who’s usually just called “Barnett” by cast mates) seems to be more emotionally mature than before, while his wife Amber seems just as unhinged and just as much of a bully as ever before. Sorry, but it’s true— during this episode we get to see Amber bully LC and Diamond (all while defending her friend, Mark, for literally cheating on someone during a pandemic), try to act fake-tough when Jessica tries to (seemingly) sincerely make amends with the couple (because, you know, they’re all grown-ups here and it’s been literally two years), and continue to just, ya’ know, bully the other cast mates, prop up their (very forced-seeming) love and marriage, and wave it around in everyone else’s face as an act of… I don’t know. Insecurity on display?

Like Jessica or not (because she was a little shiest-y in season one), Amber’s weird, “my husband isn’t allowed to talk to you” grudge seems less like a boundary and more like a mandate, which we all know never makes for a happy marriage. And, when Amber tried to bully LC and Diamond, I was just… done. I’m over watching this chick bully everyone else in her path and never admit that she’s, ya know, wrong sometimes. In other words, this couple has a long way to go to emotional maturity and fixing insecurity.

And what about the others? Though we don’t know much about Mark and his new baby-mama-drama, it’s heavily mentioned on the show, as well as Diamond’s ex-fiancé, Carlton, who felt he was “drowning in the (middle of everyone) and no one tried to save (him)” (as he reveals to Lauren in an emotional moment over dinner and drinks), each are heavily alluded to and you can somewhat piece together what these (and other) cast mates have been up to since the initial show aired.

Overall? 7/10. Some of the drama seems manufactured and contrived, while some of the initial emotion from the first season’s run seems to remain genuine, unfiltered, and raw enough to keep things interesting. I’d recommend fans of the series give it a watch, but don’t expect too much.

Xoxo, MM.

Ah, late summer— those last few weeks of August that feel like the “dog days”, yet you know autumn is just around the corner. I always feel a shift in mood at this time (as kids head back to school, vacation season slows down, and the nights start to become just a bit cooler), and I wanted to share a late-summer wrap-up of what I’m watching, wearing, listening to, eating, and beyond. Here goes—

Late summer 2021 trends: what to watch, wear, listen to, and more

Lately, I’ve been rewatching a lot of older Tom Cruise movies (I know, I know— but he’s a great actor, though). This week I dove into two of my old favorites, which are:

• Eyes Wide Shut (Dir. Stanley Kubrick, 1999) — A mind-bending favorite of mine, Eyes Wide Shut reminds us all two things for a fact: Kubrick was a visual genius, and Tom Cruise gets himself in some deep, dark sh*t in this thrilling, sensual, and somewhat scary masterpiece.

• Interview with the Vampire (Dir. Neil Jordan, 1994) — A far-cry from the simple bravery explored in Top Gun, Interview with the Vampire stars Cruise as the enigmatic and sexy Vampire Lestat, and there’s so much to unpack there. Seriously, it’s like Twilight for adults (before Twilight was ever even thought of), and it never gets old.

Listening-wise, the latest Billie Eilish album mixed with some Tyler, the Creator (AKA, “Tyler Baudelaire”) and some other pre-fall jams have been the move, including songs like:

• “Oxytocin” (Billie Eilish) — This edgy, low-key-yet-ratcheted-up song by teen pop sensation Billie Eilish is catchy beyond description, and the lyrics, “I want to do bad things to you / Don’t want to treat you well…” will have you living out all your wild, late-night fantasies of being a seductive, modern-vampire type in seconds. Trust me— it hits.

• “Hot Wind Blows” (Tyler, The Creator ft. Lil Wayne) — This celebration-of-success song takes not the typical, braggy, anthemic approach (a-la, “Over” by Drake back in the day), but takes on a “Hey, I’m in Switzerland on a Yacht, life is luxury, want to join me?” tone a-la Wolf of Wall Street, and upon listening you’ll feel transported to champagne day-dreams in no time.

Wondering what to wear as summer winds down? It may seem odd, but I’m certainly a hoodie-and-shorts or long-sleeve-t-shirt-and-shorts wear-er this time of year, and some of my more recent fits have been selections from brands like:

• Balenciaga (luxury, spring/summer 2021) — My favorite hoodie I own, this Balenciaga spring/summer 2021 distressed teal pullover is one of my favorite fashion pieces to flaunt, mostly because I’d never really worn much brand-name stuff before buying this gem (which may have cost an arm and a leg, but oh well— kidneys can always be sold, right?)

• H&M (more affordable, pre-fall 2021) — A recent short-and-sweet shopping trip to H&M had me exploring silky, satin-lined tops and bralettes plus blazers and jeans, which are my usual pre-fall uniform. I love this black blazer and satin bralette combo, which only cost me like $15 total.

We all know that another fantastic part about late-summer/pre-fall is that the weather finally becomes somewhat bearable outside, meaning outdoor (or “al fresco”) dining picks back up in full force in most cities. In Philly this week, I’ve especially enjoyed selections from local Stephen Starr restaurants like:

• Parc (Rittenhouse Square) — A Stephen Starr classic in Philadelphia, this french-bistro inspired Rittenhouse mainstay is always worth taking a brunch date to when you’re in the city on a Sunday afternoon. Tip— try the champagne cocktail called “The Hummingbird” if you like bubbly bevs!

• Buddakan (Philly, Old City) — Dumplings, anyone? Another Stephen Starr staple in both Philly and NYC, Buddakan in Philadelphia’s Old City serves up lobster fried rice and edamame dumplings that are nearly to die for.

Bonus round— what I’ve been reading! Calling upon Interview with the Vampire once again, I’ve been obsessively reading and re-reading Anne Rice’s ‘The Vampire Chronicles’ series (upon which the film is based) and I can’t put them down. A series of 13 books and two spin-offs, this 15-book-total series blows my mind every time and I can’t wait to see the show being developed for AMC based on the book series.

So, what are you enjoying as summer winds down? Movies, music, food, books? Let’s discuss—

Xoxo, MM.

Do you remember the Jewel song, “Intuition”? It begins with the lyrics, “I’m just a simple girl— in a high-tech, digital world / Rarely try to understand all the powers that rule this land…”

Yeah, I felt that.

COVID-19 changed the world. We can’t deny that. My 9-5 office job became a more flexible, 9-5 (or, sort of 10-6, 8:30 – 4:30, whatever-ish, just get your work done and try to survive this pandemic) work from home job… and it’s staying that way for the most part— which leads me to my main points: we have to somehow keep living (and get our lives back on track), and that means a “hybrid”, more sustainable lifestyle may just be our new foreseeable future state.

So, how do we manage this? Since things have changed so fundamentally, how do we take space for ourselves and our feelings amidst all the madness? Here’s how I’ve learned to cope, and partially learned to get my life back on track in the modern, wacky, “hybrid” world.

Getting your life back and going “hybrid” in 2021

If you’re an essential worker (such as healthcare works, grocers, teachers, etc. are), you’ve been on the frontlines this entire time and for that I (and everyone else, I would guess) are beyond thankful for your service. You are tireless though you’re tired, and the world has not become a “hybrid” situation for you. That’s on privilege on mine and many other office workers’ parts, and I must make this disclaimer as it would be rude to generalize at this stage when so many are working harder than ever before on the frontlines.

That said, for us 9-5, work-from-home-but-sort-of-hybrid workers, here are some tips on how I’ve stayed sane, and how I plan to manage the work-life balance moving ahead into the new, hybrid workforce (and world).

• More outdoor time, period— I’ve spent so much time outside during the pandemic, and I’ve even found ways to work, eat, and walk outside during the coldest winter months (which has been a welcome change of scenery for me). If you can get outside safely at all, I recommend doing so. Even the tiniest city terraces and balconies can become great outdoor work spaces with a space-heater in the winter and some shade in the summer, and its kept me sane/feeling a lot less “couped up” during this transitional period in life.

• Travel (safely) if you’re able— Many of my friends have turned the “work from home” model into the “work from anywhere” model since being vaccinated, and that’s not a half bad idea if you can manage to do it safely. If you’re fully vaccinated (which the CDC defines here, if you have any questions), I say take time to drive out to some beautiful scenic places and enjoy a safe change-of-scenery that way if you’re able. Working from the beach in Outer Banks was way better than working from my tiny apartment, for starters, and working from my mom’s house in West Virginia for a while was a great emotional reset during these weird, challenging times.

• Lean on your support systems— If you’re going back to the office and can do so safely (again, if you’re fully vaccinated), maybe consider meeting up with other vaccinated friends and coworkers in non-work related spaces to unwind and reconnect with your central support system. This is one of the things I’ve gotten back to since being vaccinated, and it’s felt incredible to safely see friends a few times a week again and have a drink and dinner to simply “let loose” and stop focusing on work 24/7 (since the work place is seeping into our homes now more than ever before).

Essentially, these things just mean sometimes removing yourself from work situations or changing up your scenery (safely, and if you’re physically and financially able) to relieve some stress. Like I said, a lot of this is on privilege— the privilege to work from home during a pandemic, the privilege to have financial means to travel at times, etc., but if you are in a position where you can do these things I recommend trying some of them. They’ve really revolutionized my mental health these last few months as I’ve been navigating the “hybrid” work world and lifestyle, and as I’ve moved back into the city of Philadelphia especially.

Simply getting outside or finding a way to change your scenery on work from home days, and taking space for yourself and time off of work when you’re able, can make all the difference. In this weird, topsy-turvy world you must take care of you, and it’s not selfish to do so. You can’t pour from an empty cup. So— be safe, take some time off, and be kind to yourself as you readjust to this “hybrid”, high-tech, digital world.

Xoxo, MM.

Time to write has largely escaped me lately as my husband and I prepared for our move back to our (as of four years ago) home city of Philadelphia, PA. After nearly 19 months of nomadic existence due to life being upturned by the COVID-19 pandemic and office closures, my husband’s office has finally reopened (thanks to vaccinations) and life can finally resume, somewhat at least.

I still can’t find quite the right words to describe how I’m feeling about everything (especially as Delta surges and there seems to be two Americas these days— the vaccinated one and the non-vaccinated one), but I thought I’d give everyone an update for now on what our apartment looks like, what decor I’ve chosen for late summer/pre-fall 2021, and how the city itself is fairing since we’ve been back. Let’s dive in—

Living in Philadelphia, PA in August 2021

Our new apartment is located smack-dab in the middle of Philadelphia’s “Old City” neighborhood; a quiet hamlet full of national historical monuments and museums, as well as some of the best shopping, bars, and restaurants you’ll ever enter into. We’ve recently been spending time in local spots like Buffalo Billiards and Han Dynasty (a fun-filled pool hall and sports bar, and family-style Chinese restaurant, respectively) and have found that Old City only gets more charming the more you explore it.

As for our apartment itself, Andrew and I chose a model with clean, sleek, modern finishes (which encapsulates our personal style as a couple perfectly). From marble tile in the bathroom to pure-white quartz countertops, our new apartment in The Ledger Building (right across from Independence Hall, might I add) is a breath of fresh air after long evenings out in the city itself.

For now, I don’t have much else to say. We’re unpacking and cleaning like mad people, and juggling work (with Andrew finally being back in the office, hooray!) on top of it all. For now we’re settling, though the whole world seems to be in flux, and I’m just hoping things stay stable this time for good.

Take care and be safe out there,

Xoxo,

MM.