Food means a lot to me. As an Appalachian woman, food is how I show love to others, and how I’ve been shown love by friends and family throughout the years. “Come here, let me fix you a plate,” was my grandmother’s way of saying, “Hi, how are you?” essentially, and eating is something I get great personal, emotional enjoyment (and of course bodily nourishment) from.

That said, when you’ve been diagnosed with chronic bloating and IBS like I have, you may battle food sensitivity and the inability to even eat certain foods at times which can negatively impact your life and relationship with food. Here are some snack-hacks and tips to beat bloating and avoid “trigger” foods that I’ve learned over the years (for people with common food sensitivities like me), and how it can help you enjoy food again (rather than fear a flare-up of stomach issues).

Snack-hacks to stop bloating (and enjoy eating again)

It’s extremely common for high-FODMAP foods to trigger food sensitivities in people with IBS, IBD, Celiac Disease, and other GI disorders. That said, a low-FODMAP diet is what my doctor recommended to me, and it may help you, too.

Learn more about FODMAPs here, like what they are and why they may be causing GI issues.

Here’s my list of lower FODMAP snacks that help me enjoy eating my favorite foods while beating bloat and GI issues all the while:

• Live G Free Multigrain “Crackers” — a non-gluten based “cracker”, I LOVE these delicious, crunchy crackers as a snack to use for dips.

• Kay’s Naturals Protein Bites — a cinnamon-y delight, these cookie bites are also gluten-free and packed full of protein, which is awesome for a high-fiber nut snack substitute (and great for replacing harsher sugars high in FODMAPs)!

• Nutpods Coffee Creamer — a Whole 30 find, Nutpods are perfect for coffee lovers like me, as they’re free of sugar and artificial sweeteners and dairy-free as well! They’re creamy and delicious in hot or iced coffee, and I even got my barista-BFF hooked on them over the summer. So. Good.

• Veggies, berries, and nuts that aren’t high in FODMAPS — You can avoid high-FODMAP foods and still eat a host of fruits and veggies, they just have to be the right ones. Carrots are great, for example, and berries. (See link above for more info!)

These hacks (and many, many more) can help you enjoy things like fruits and veggies, crackers and dip, coffee creamer, cookies, and more without the GI issues that sometimes follow these traditionally high-FODMAP foods. Of course, everyone’s sensitivities are different, and working with your doctor to find out what diet is right for you is what’s most important.

So, do you have any bloating hacks or snack tips you’d like to share? Let’s discuss,

Xoxo, MM. `

Ah, the ego— the pervasive driving force within ourselves that creates most of what we are. A conglomerate of our experiences, ideas, and emotions, the ego is what gives us our sense of “self”, which sometimes leads to a sense of self-importance.

Why do I bring this up? Well, after some thinking and therapy over the years, I’ve been trying to heal from times I’ve been egotistical and harmful to others, and times others have been egotistical and harmful toward me. Let me explain—

How ego hurts ourselves and others.

Most major religions preach the concept of throwing-off our ego (and taking up the cause of others). As a Christian, the example of Christ coming to Earth to serve others is the greatest example of this I can follow. In Buddhism, the Tibetan Book of the Dead explores many levels of ego-dissolution and how that step is necessary to obtain pure peace, or “nirvana”. Essentially— this is something many of us agree on.

When our ego is too big, it becomes a large target ready to be bruised. We take things too personally and too seriously. We forget that we’re all just silly souls in human suits, essentially, and that this mortal life (and these fleeting things) don’t last forever and… we hurt people. We may bully, gate-keep, berate, or belittle others. We may think we’re more righteous than others. And in the end? We’re usually in the wrong, and we end up hurting people (including those we care about most).

No one wants to be friends with the know-it-all kid. No one wants to be in a romantic relationship with someone who belittles and berates them in order to elevate themselves (something I was guilty of in my younger relationships, when I allowed my ego to fester and repeat toxic patterns in my daily life, etc.). No one wants to be around someone whose ego is too big, and who hurts others seemingly to make themselves feel better— it’s toxic, and it’s no good for anyone involved.

On the flip-side, however, people do want to connect with and be around people who make them feel good. People who lift them up. People who are open-minded, understanding, slow to anger, and even-keel in their emotions. Rational. Calm. Empathetic. Now, I’m not saying we should always put ourselves and our own needs aside (since I’m a huge proponent of self-care and boundary setting), but we cannot allow our egos to rule over our lives and relationships with others. However, let’s discuss the happy median we should be cognizant of therein, which means…

Basically? Do no harm, but take no crap.

I’m not saying working toward dissolving your ego entirely is easy (or even attainable for most, really, despite what some old, heady hippies might say), nor am I saying that you should always roll over and allow others to continue to hurt, harm, or abuse you in any way shape or form (if you’re stuck in a toxic friendship, relationship, or other harmful situation). What I am saying basically boils down into this— do no harm (with your ego), but take no crap (from other’s inflated ego), either.

You can love people from a distance. You can forgive someone without allowing them the opportunity to hurt you again. You can set boundaries (my favorite!), stand up for yourself and for others, and put your foot down when necessary to protect your peace and defend people and things you care about. That is all fair. You cannot (or, should not), however, bully others, belittle others, or use your own experience/”expertise” to set the tone for someone else’s “success” or “failure”. That just isn’t your call, and the ego that drives those more sinister ambitions is one that needs to be dissolved, diminished, and re-assessed, for sure.

So— who have you hurt when your ego was too big, or too bruised? Who has hurt you, and how can you forgive them without allowing it to happen again? Protecting your peace at all costs is important, friends.

Xoxo, MM.

Someone I love recently looked at me and said, “All I do is everything for everyone else, except myself.” This was jarring to me, and it made me feel like another discussion on boundaries (and a deeper-dive into this part of it, specifically) was needed. So, do you want to live your life for you, since you’re the one living your life after all? Then read on, and let’s discuss.

Living your life for you (without being “selfish”)

“You are the pilot of your life.” A cliché phrase we’ve all heard a time or two from corny life coaches online and the like, it’s oddly true— you are the one living your life, through your consciousness, and no one else will ever be able to experience that. Just you. If that isn’t already enough of a head-trip, throwing other people living their own lives through their own lens of consciousness into the mix and shew— you’ve got a lot of perception and multiple realities going on, huh?

What I mean by all this is essentially that only you will ever be inside your own head, and you are responsible for 1.) taking care of your mental health and wellbeing (because you deserve to feel well) and 2.) living your life, because no one else can do it for you. So, what does that in mean in practice? Well…

If you’ve ever felt like you do things you don’t want to do just to appeal to someone else, you may not be living your own life. If you’ve ever put yourself into a situation that made you severely uncomfortable, put you out, or made you feel discarded or under-appreciated, you may not be living your life for you… and that’s a problem.

If you don’t live your life for you (and ensure you have an enriching, fulfilling life), you are going to feel everything from burn-out to resentment to complete dissociation, and that is not conducive to good mental health and wellbeing. When we do things for others (because being “selfish” isn’t what I’m talking about it, but more self-aware), it should be out of love— we should want to help those we care about, or do things that make others feel good, as long as it doesn’t put our health and wellbeing at risk. TL;DR? We should help others out of love and care, but not at the expense of ourselves, and surely not out of obligation (again, at our expense).

So, how do you reclaim your life and live it for you? Well, you can start by setting aside time to do things you enjoy. Making time for things you enjoy and for yourself in general (as in, making “you-time”, hard-coded into your schedule that you set boundaries around) is so important, and it means that, when someone asks you to go out of your way to do something during your “you-time”, you have the right to simply say “no,” and explain that you’ve dedicated that time to doing something for yourself, for once.

Now, I don’t mean ignore your friends or family if they’re in an emergency situation and need sincere help, but I mean things like, for example, not allowing someone to dump their responsibilities off on you just because they think you’ll do it without any objections, or not picking up an extra shift at work on your day off just because no one else wants to work, etc. You have the right to take care of yourself and put yourself first sometimes, and that is not selfish. You are the one living your life and your health and wellbeing depend on how well you can care for yourself first, then others as an extension of that.

TL;DR? You are the only one living and experiencing your life every day, and it’s up to you to live and cultivate the life you deserve.

How will you go about reclaiming your life? Recently, I had to put my foot down around some projects I simply don’t have the time or energy to pour myself into, as well as made the conscious decision along with my husband to move back to Philadelphia, PA to reclaim some of our peace and privacy (and stability) that COVID-19 had stolen. What can you do right now, even as a baby-step, to work toward reclaiming your life? I’m begging you, whatever you can do— do it. If we all prioritized mental health and wellbeing even a few percentage points more, it would be a much better world in the long-run.

Xoxo, MM.

Disclaimer: Cliff jumping is incredibly dangerous and I, for one, do not do it. However, I do love to swim at the cliff access area due to its serene beauty and I know some people do like to cliff jump, and I’d prefer people do so safely. Be safe, be smart, and always know your limits.

Summersville Lake in Summersville, West Virginia is one of the largest, most serene man-made lakes in the country. For those who want more than simple tourist-packed beach access, however, there are more adventurous rock climbing and lake-access spots that can’t be beat.

The best lake access in Summersville, WV (that isn’t on the beach)

If you’re like my husband and our friends (or if you just grew up in WV like we did), you know the best time at the lake can be had when one is trekking through the woods, climbing rocks, and splashing in the water away from the busy beachfront (and just hanging out with the salamanders and other WV wildlife all around).

That said, we have a favorite spot we’ve gone to since we were all kids, mostly, and it’s right off of I-19. Once you pass the bridge over Summersville Lake (coming from the Fayetteville way on I-19), there is immediately a gravel parking lot to your right that you can pull into. We always park in this lot, as the lake access you can get to a short hike from there is beyond serene.

Once parked, you follow the blue-marked hiking trail through the woods and up the hill to the cliff edges. From the cliff edges, it takes a bit of skill to alpine and climb down the rocks to the bottom where one can access the lake, so do so at your own discretion and ability (and do so SAFELY). Once you go through all that hiking and climbing, however, the view you open up on to is well worth it:

Locals have known this spot forever and I’ve gone since I was a teenager with groups of friends every summer. Be safe, though, if you choose this spot as its a bit challenging to get to and has some inherent risks incurred with all the rocks, etc. If you do go, however, enjoy the views and have a great summer in wild, wonderful WV!

Xoxo, MM.

Boundaries. A subject I’m incredibly passionate about (as most of you know), yet one of the most difficult things to practice in my own life and in anyone’s life, really.

Do you have trouble saying “no”? Ask yourself and answer honestly. It’s okay if you do— I know I do, and most of us probably do. However, it is so important to learn to say “NO,” and to learn that, when you do, it’s not inherently selfish.

How to say “no.”

For those raised in families that would do anything for one another (a good thing, mostly), you may have always been taught to over-extend yourself to the point of exhaustion for others. For family members, maybe even for friends, for the sake of what some consider “politeness.” I say, however, that it’s not necessarily polite of someone to ask that much of you, and it’s not inherently impolite or selfish to say no.

For example, if someone asks you to do something that would clearly and obviously over-extend you (like asking you to come pick them up when it’s 30 minutes out of your way, or asking to stay at your home knowing you’re tight on space or going through a hard emotional time, etc.), they are the ones being rude. You are not the one being rude if you say “no” to requests that would obviously overextend you. This can extend to anything from loaning money to someone you don’t feel comfortable loaning money to, letting someone stay in your home (if you don’t have the emotional or physical space for that right now), and so on. It wouldn’t be selfish to say “no” in those situations, because saying “yes” would make you uncomfortable, stressed, and the like, which will lead to resentment, extreme mental (or even physical) exhaustion, etc., and that’s never good.

Like I always say, you cannot pour from an empty cup. If someone in your life expects you to constantly over-extend yourself and do the most to appease them, it may be time to set a boundary, and that can be as simple as saying “no” sometimes.

That’s the hard part, though, isn’t it? Saying “no” can feel selfish, or inherently bad, but I promise you— it isn’t either of those things. Saying “no” when you really need to is not selfish, and it just takes practice and time to get in the habit of saying it (and meaning it, i.e, sticking to it), and letting others know you are not their doormat and you deserve your own space, too.

“But what if someone gets mad at me for saying ‘no’ to them?” you may be asking. Well, if someone gets mad at you for setting a clear boundary you need to set, they don’t really care about you anyways, do they? Even if they’re a family member or a “best friend,” people who don’t respect your need for space and boundary-setting are the ones being selfish and toxic, and though they may try to manipulate or guilt you into feeling like you’re the bad guy in the situation, you have to stand your ground. And, truly, if they get that nasty when you simply set a boundary and care for yourself for once, they aren’t the kind of person you should be around (if protecting your peace means anything to you, which it always should).

I know, I know— this got a little preachy, but I’m so passionate about this and I truly believe when I started saying “no” to people and situations that weren’t good for me I became 1874386340x happier for it.

So, just say “no.” It isn’t always easy, but it can be done. Simply. Say. “No.”

Xoxo, MM.

As someone who has a naturally “slim” body type (but holds on to a few love-handles and embraces her “thunder-thighs” all the while— my body tends to change throughout the seasons, etc.), you may think I’ve always been “happy” with my body and it’s shape and size. Oh, how I wish that were the case.

If you’re anything like me and have struggled with body image basically your entire life, it can be severely triggering to step on the scale one morning just to find out you’ve somehow gained weight seemingly over night, or in a single week, etc. However, let’s remind ourselves that no matter what your shape or size, fluctuating weight is normal. It is normal to fluctuate within a five-or-so pound range. And, most importantly— your weight is just a number and it doesn’t define you. Not one bit. Not at all. However, if you are like me (again) and need a reminder that it’s normal/okay/not the end of the world as we know it, here it goes—

Weight fluctuation: why it’s normal, okay, and not reflective of your value as a human being

This should go without saying, but I’m going to say it— your weight, your size, etc. are not a reflection of “health” as some would have you believe (we’re all meant to be different weights, shapes and sizes!) and it’s certainly not a reflection of your worth as a human being! That said, sometimes we do weigh ourselves in an attempt to gauge a sort of “goal” we’ve maybe set for ourselves, and it can be so hurtful to see that those three pounds you lost last week seem to have come back (somehow) over night. Here’s the deal, though—

You can’t actually gain three pounds of muscle or fat overnight.

Human bodies are roughly 60-75% water, and that means your weight can (and will) change day over day based on more or less water retention on that particular day. It does not mean you’ve failed at anything. It does not mean you’re a lesser person. Weight is not an indicator of these things (your worth, your value, even your health) at all, really, and you are normal. You are valid. You are beautiful.

This may seem simple (or like a no-brainer), but with society shoving “fit figure” messages (which are total BS) down our throats every single day (especially in the summer) I figured some of you needed this reminder, because I know I did.

So, live your life. Eat that dessert. Smile about it. Give yourself a break when you need it. Weight fluctuation is part of life and part of being human, and your weight doesn’t define you, anyhow.

Xoxo, MM.

Most of my life (like, since I was 10/11 years old, at the earliest), I have battled facial acne. I tried everything from Accutane (yikes, for real) to tea tree oil, and nothing ever seemed to work. However, with the help of Southern Wellness and Skin Center and Apostrophe (an online dermatology consulting firm), I was able to finally get my skin issues under control. Here’s a list of what I do in-office and at home and how it transformed my skin for good (finally).

How I cleared up my acne: in-office and at home remedies that are simple, sustainable, and that work

Let’s keep this simple (since I believe in keeping things simple + sustainable to ensure I keep up with them, lol), and dive in to my topical skin medications and routine at home (morning and night), plus what treatments I get done in-office to maintain clear skin and consistent results:

My at-home routine, morning:

After consulting with a licensed dermatologist on Apostrophe, I was prescribed this morning routine for keeping my skin clean and keeping acne at bay during the day:

• Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser to cleanse/wash face with every morning.

• Perrigo, 2.5% Benzoyl Peroxide topical to apply after face is cleansed and dried.

• Unscented Vitamin E cream to moisturize after topical Perrigo gel dries.

And that’s it!

My at-home routine, before bed/night:

My evening routine is somewhat similar, with a prescription topical thrown in (instead of Perrigo, in the evenings):

• Cleanse again with unscented, antibacterial bar of soap and Cetaphil once again (all makeup removed, cleanse bare skin well).

• Tretinoin topical cream, which must be prescribed by a dermatological professional.

• Vitamin E cream to moisturize again.

And again— that’s all I have to do!

In-office treatments I receive to maintain clear skin and good skin texture:

Occasionally, I get high-powered UV laser skin treatments at Southern Wellness and Skin Center, including:

• Nordlys IPL laser treatments, roughly every six weeks until desired results are achieved.

And viola! That’s it. Keeping up with my at-home routines daily and getting the occasional IPL laser treatment in-office has transformed my skin, and it only took about a month to start seeing drastic, positive results.

That said, consistency is key, and once you find a routine that works for you make sure you stick with it. Results can take a while to appear, and must be maintained in most cases with keeping up your routine. What’s more, you should of course never start a new skincare routine or regimen without consulting a dermatologist; this stuff isn’t as DIY as some make it seem, y’all.

Stay safe, keep it simple, and eventually you can find what works for you. What life-changing skincare tips has your dermatologist taught you? Let’s discuss,

Xoxo, MM.

When COVID-19 hit (and thus, forced many Americans into their homes but, ironically, out of their cities) I thought it was all over for the city we live in, Philadelphia, PA. However, with the incredible invention of vaccines and the grit and determination of Philadelphians’ uncrushable spirit, Philly is back and better than ever before, IMO. From new pop-up al-fresco dining options to expanded walking trails and parks throughout the city (brought on by COVID forcing everyone to explore the outdoors a bit more), Philadelphia is back and becoming a more inclusive, creative city for every lifestyle.

In short, our city is back and in a big way, but I think all American cities are making this comeback, as well. You may wonder, “why would I want to move back to the city?” if you’ve left, perhaps, but I have a few ideas (and I think some of you will agree.)

Fine dining, arts and culture, and beyond

Cities have what only such large, metropolitan (and heavily populated) areas can offer: lots of humans, which means lots of human expression. From art museums to pop-up art to art sculptures to street art, Philadelphia (and most US cities) are full of arts and culture that you can’t find anywhere else. For example, Philadelphia is a proud member of the Mural Arts Program, which empowers local artists in cities to turn their streets into works of art with large, painted murals abounding. Many other US cities participate in the program, too, which is something to be admired.

Also, I’ve found that in cities I can eat whatever I want. By that, I mean: I can eat Thai food, Indian food, Ethiopian food, American food, home-made Greek food, or whatever I feel like eating that day, instead of just eating at one of many chain restaurants serving up the same-old-same-old fare in my more rural hometown. (My hometown has a few lovely, locally owned gems, of course, but they fight for survival based on how my hometown operates, sadly.)

In a larger city you have a larger population, which often includes population from all over the world coming together as one in the community and sharing their food, arts, and other aspects of their culture with their city. This is one of the things I missed most about cities here in the states— the community and diversity therein that makes each of them so special and so unique.

So, what do you miss about your city? Are you going back now that COVID seems to be on the retreat? Are you planning to visit a city you’ve never been to before this year (like Andrew and I did with NOLA in April)? Let’s discuss,

Xoxo, MM.

As someone who grew up in rural West Virginia (and loved it) yet now lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (and also loves it, for the last four years it’s been incredible), I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on the pros and cons of rural vs. city living. That said, I often get asked, “Which do you prefer?” My answer, honestly, is “both,” and I often encourage people to do what’s right for them specifically (when they’re asking me where they should go, where they should live based on my experiences, etc. etc. etc.)

So, is city living right for you? Is rural living inherently better or worse than the city, or vice-versa? I’m here to dispel those myths (they’re both great in their own way) and dive in to my experience living in both types of areas, so let’s begin—

Rural vs. City Living: which is right for you?

You may have a degree in a specific niche, or certain interests or lifestyle preferences (like being an outdoorsy person, vs. being a “shopper”, that sort of thing), or many other things that make you more inclined to city or rural living, and that’s a good place to start.

I always tell people (when they ask me which lifestyle I prefer, city or rural), “Go where you can thrive.” Interested in nature, hiking trails, and working for the park service or as a Zipline guide, etc? West Virginia is perfect for you. Working as a software engineer, into exciting nightlife, and looking for a more “metropolitan” area to make friends and participate in groups, etc? Perhaps a city (of relatively medium-to-large size) is better for you.

Essentially, you have to ask yourself a few things, including (but not limited to), 1.) what you enjoy doing for recreation, 2.) what your career goals are, in the short-and-long terms, and 3.) how you see your family growing in the years to come. Cities aren’t inherently “better” than rural areas; that is a myth (and one I’ve grown quite tired of hearing over the years.) Cities aren’t inherently “worse” (or “more dangerous”, etc.) either. It’s all a matter of doing what’s best for you, your career, your family, and your lifestyle.

Andrew and I would’ve lived in West Virginia forever. We love it there. We’re outdoorsy people. Our family and closest friends are there. Leaving was a hard choice, but ultimately, the pros of moving to Philadelphia outweighed the cons for us as a couple and a family. We can work in our specific career niches more easily in Philadelphia; we can enjoy nightlife and music scenes that are extreme vibrant (things that are recreationally important to us); we can enjoy more arts and culture-related events here. It’s those sort of things.

There are pros and cons to every place on earth. No place is inherently “better” or “worse” than other place in reality; just better or worse for you as an individual. That said, have you asked yourself the three questions above? If so, would you like me to break down what it’s like to live in Philadelphia? West Virginia? Let’s discuss.

Xoxo, MM.

We’ve all seen them— those skin-tight shape wear-esque articles of workout attire that look more like a corset (or torture device, in some cases) than a piece of athletic equipment. From the Kardashian crew wearing them while doing pilates on Instagram to seeing them pop up at your local gym, you’re probably wondering, “do waist trainers work?”

Well, yes and no. The real questions should be, “are waist trainers safe” and “how do I safely use a waist trainer” (as well as “how do I develop realistic expectations of what these are and what they can actually do?”, to boot.) In general, they work but not the way you’d think. Let me explain—

Do waist trainers work? My experience with them

The assumption is that waist trainers will make you develop abs and burn belly-fat quicker as they localize sweating and contract your abdominal muscles when worn around the abdominal area while working out. In a way, that’s kind of true— they do localize sweating which may result in some water weight being dropped (which has been my experience, though it only lasts a few hours after working out), but they don’t really have much benefit in the muscle arena.

Waist trainers should not be worn tight enough to hurt or labor your breathing, so they aren’t really going to be able to contract your muscles (and it wouldn’t be good if they did!) You have to be safe and smart with these things, and really, they just help to correct posture and increase sweating in most cases.

TL;DR? I wear one for the suggested amount of time that is safe to wear one (never more than like, say, an hour’s worth of workout time) and to a safe setting— I don’t wear them to the degree that my breathing is labored (as that’s VERY unsafe) or that it hurts, and I mostly find they just help me keep good posture and form while running + increase my sweat output around my abdomen during cardio workouts.

Are waist trainers safe? The science

Again, waist trainers are mostly only safe if you’re using them safely. Sadly, people often misuse them or use them to an unsafe degree (tightening them until their breathing becomes labored, or until it physically hurts), and that’s never okay. In most cases, science says it’s best to avoid them. I use one sometimes, but it’s not worth it if you’re going to harm yourself while using one.

Ultimately, if you want to try a waist-trainer, just be safe about it and know how to do it correctly. You shouldn’t wear them for crazy long amounts of time and you should never wear them so tight that it affects your breathing or your comfort. That’s the opposite of healthy, and that should be avoided at all costs.

Long story short, I found that when used correctly they helped correct my posture during workouts and sometimes helped with localized sweating around the abdomen, but that’s it. They’re not a miracle cure for belly-bloat or anything (nor should they be, because there’s nothing wrong with your body changing shape throughout the day etc.) Don’t try them without consulting a doctor or certified personal trainer, and certainly don’t do anything to hurt yourself or make yourself uncomfortable. Stay well, friends!

Xoxo, MM.