You Don’t Owe Anyone Your Emotional Engagement (Especially on the Internet)
AKA: Self-care isn’t selfish.
Recently, I started reading for fun again. I mean, really reading. I dove head-first into Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles in September, and I’m already on Book VI, if that tells you how much I enjoy reading when I really have the time and energy to do it.
That said, finding the time and energy was surprisingly hard. Why was it hard, you ask? One reason: I am low-key addicted to social media and the Internet, which most people are these days. At least, most people in my age group -> younger are.
I would wake up and check my phone; before bed, I’d do the same. I knew it made me anxious (especially now, in 2020), and I knew something had to give. So, I started reading again. When I had the urge to check Facebook or scroll Instagram obsessively, I’d start reading instead. Before I knew it, I was head-over-heels in love with Rice’s TVC series, and my mood had improved ten-fold. So, I’m here to share with you all my greatest take-away from reading for fun (or doing anything other than social-media) again: you don’t owe anyone your emotional engagement, especially on the Internet.
Things I learned when I started reading for fun again
Me, enjoying real life in Italy in 2016. Remember the real world? I almost forgot, myself.
For one, I was reminded how much I love Anne Rice novels. But, more importantly, I learned this: you don’t *have* to engage on social media. With anyone. Ever. Not even a little bit, if you don’t want to. It’s not your obligation to do so, though society may seem to tell you otherwise; in other words, you don’t have to allow others to take up so much time and space in your mind, your emotions, and your daily schedule.
This doesn’t sound all that groundbreaking, because it’s such an obvious truth, but once I started consciously reminding myself of it, my days changed. My mood improved. I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted. The idea that you have to engage in the online communities of Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, etc. etc. etc. is a concept 21st century society has created, and, honestly, it’s a scourge.
Don’t get me wrong— social media can be a great way to connect, and I often enjoy it. However, there’s an important caveat to it all, and it’s this: you don’t owe anyone that space in your life; and they certainly don’t always (or even usually, if we’re being honest) deserve it. So you choose who you give it to, or if you give it at all, and what you’re willing to give. That’s your choice, your power. How you spend your time and where you place your attention, your thoughts— that’s all up to YOU, social media users.
I’m going to keep this in mind for the rest of 2020, and hopefully for many years to come. As social media evolves, I’ve found myself struggling to keep up, and I think that’s honestly OK. What do you think? Does social media stress you out? Do you need to step away for a while? Let’s discuss.
xoxo, MM.