An Ode to Simplifying Your Life
I knew my passion wasn’t a finite resource; but my time certainly was — and it showed.
Well, it’s somehow already April, y’all; and that seems a little bonkers? I’ve been thinking a great deal lately about how my parents always told me, “the years get shorter as you grow older,” because it feels like, well, it’s… actually true.
As you all know by now (or, rather, as I’m sure you’ve noticed), I’m a fairly passionate person who enjoys doing all the things, and I’ve spent most of my adult life, well, trying to do all the things. That said, in the last year or so, I started to experience something I’d never quite felt before — a phenomenon I can only classify as the dreaded ‘burnout.’
I know, I know; it’s a buzzword. ‘Burnout’ is talked about like the looming monster in the closet of every adult career-person, creative, or just human being in general with responsibilities that’s essentially anything more burdensome than being an entirely unencumbered toddler — but I fear it’s real, besties, and I’ve experienced it.
So, how did I take back more control of my time (which is still a work in progress, FYI!) and stop caring about things I truly didn’t have the bandwidth or business to care about?
I simplified my life in three simple steps
I took back my time: For one, I opened this post with a byline that states something like, “your passion is not a limited resource, but your time is,” and that was a hard pill for me to swallow. Frankly, and as I’ve said, I’m the kind of person who wants to do all the things — but time is not infinite. Your time cannot be recouped, replaced or “made up for” down the line, so eventually… some things have to give. You have to decide for yourself what and who deserve the investment of your time, and you have to stop feeling bad for saying the simple-but-effective word, “no.” It’s a full sentence, babes — use it.
I stopped giving so many fcks: Which leads me to… you have to stop giving a damn what anyone thinks. If you’re not hurting anyone else, and not being a genuinely selfish a-hole (which, I’d think you’d know if you were), you can’t fret over everyone’s feelings 24/7. If you say “no,” to something you genuinely don’t have bandwidth for, someone shouldn’t in turn make you feel bad for preserving your own time and energy. You shouldn’t be expected to bend over backwards for everyone 24/7 (though we should of course always help our friends, family and loved ones as much as we can when we do have the space to do so), and your life is your’s alone to live. A book that helped me sort my f*cks to give into categories was “The Magical Life-Changing Art of Not Giving a Fuck", which gives step-by-step instructions, advice and even visual guides into how to stop caring so much when you genuinely don’t need to.
I leaned into what actually matters: Last but not least, with points one and two coming into consideration, you then must decide what actually matters to you. This step should be simple and honestly the most intuitive, seeing as, once you’ve cleared the rest of the clutter out of your life, you should genuinely be able to just feel it out. What lights your soul up? Who are you around when you feel your best? Take those gut feelings, run with them, and don’t ever look back.
I’ve posted many times before about holding space for yourself and boundaries galore, so you all know how important it is to me, personally. That said, I hope someone else needed to read this as much as I needed to write it. Cheers.
Xoxo, MM.