I, like most corporate employees, have returned to the office four days a week. I cherish my now singular work from home day, but it’s actually been kind of fun to come back into the office, socialize a little every day, and have more of a routine built into my week.

There’s a catch, though – what does one even wear to the office in 2024? I work with some incredibly fashionable people, so I felt the need to step up my game (while remaining true to my own style) in recent months. So, if you’re like me, and totally tired of your same few pencil skirts and heels, or grey slacks and sweaters, I’ve found a functional balance of casual-yet-chic alternative outfits that you can feel both confident and comfortable in while working-from-cubicle (instead of working-from-couch).

Work from office outfits that provide an alternative to traditional business dress

Perhaps you want to show off more of your personal style at the office (which was my case), or maybe you just want to feel more comfortable in your clothes during a long day on the job – either way, you’re looking for alternatives to traditional office attire.

I’ve found that I can balance my personal style while still remaining professional and office appropriate in some of the following ways —

Winter weather: a comfy-but-edgy leather look

I’m in my 1997 Trent Reznor era, apparently, because the oversized leather jacket has been my go-to this winter in terms of cozy-yet-sharp office attire. I like to pair the (faux) leather jacket with a pop of color — perhaps a bright top underneath, or in this case a funky pashmina — and black slacks and boots. This outfit feels more “me” and allows me to feel 1.) like myself and 2.) actually comfortable when I’m in the office, without coming off as too “unprofessional” (I know, I know).

Spring and summer: color-on-color (because I’m sick of “greige”)

When spring has finally sprung, and summer comes into full swing, I find that pops of color lend way to full-blown neon overload in my wardrobe – and, not gonna’ lie, I love it. I love the confidence boost I get from feeling like my outfit is “brightening” a room, and I find that I still feel very “me” when I go for a more daring choice of color.

Fall: an alternative interation on the traditional blazer look

Now, I’m not going to dismiss the blazer completely in this piece — in fact, I’m a huge fan of the way this classic closet staple can “class up” an outfit, and add an heir of business to even the most casual outfit. So, if you’re going for comfy (but not too hot/stuffy) and business casual when the leaves start to change, a blazer is just the thing IMO. Bonus points if you can find a blazer with a funky pattern or fun texture, like my favorite blazer pictured here, to help you lean more into your own unique style.

Ditch that black turtleneck and scuffed up loafers routine and step into a style that’s more uniquely you, even if you work in large, corporate office.

Wanna see more examples of what I wear in my day-to-day? Follow me on Instagram (@firpanda) and let’s connect —

Xoxo,

MM.

A person (me) with intense period cramps investigates.

It’s a well-known fact that green tea has a host of health benefits to boast about; but can green tea go so far as to provided relief from chronic pain and inflammation?

Science seems to say yes — so I tested this theory for myself. Here’s how I reduced period cramps (and as a bonus, reduced bloating!) my increasing my green-tea intake for one week.

How green tea relieved my painful period cramps

I’ve written at great length about my horrible PMS symptoms, and when I say I’ve tried everything the medical community can throw at the problem, I mean it. Unfortunately, birth control (after much trial and error) only shortens my periods (the PMS, however, persists), and all the extra-strength Midol and ibuprofen I’ve tried have done diddly-squat to provide any relief. The Good Patch’s period patches helped a bit, but only as spot relief for the overarching issue of hellacious cramps — doing little to ease bloating and other side effects that make cramps a million times worse.

So, it goes without saying that I’ve been at my wit’s end for a long time now, and recently I’ve been open to trying nearly anything that’s purported to work on these ridiculously intense PMS symptoms. That’s where good-ole’ Google came into play, and I began searching for alternatives to the more traditional methods.

Luckily, Reddit always comes through, and the r/PMDD subreddit (note, I am not officially diagnosed with PMDD) had some great thought-starter threads. Some users recommended supplements that have helped them in their chronic-PMS/PMDD journey, but I’d tried many of them before (and saw little to no benefit). Some suggested dietary changes (which I always try to be mindful of during my cycle!), and that lead me to this simple, powerful thought on my own — “Have I tried green tea?”

It seemed silly even to myself at first, but the thought took hold, and back to Google I went. Turns out, there is research to suggest that green tea (specifically, the L-Theanine and other anti-inflammatory compounds within green tea) actually does work as a natural painkiller, and can help to reduce bloating as a down-stream effect of reducing inflammation.

I was floored. My “I’ve heard green tea is good for everything” knee-jerk thought was surprisingly spot on, and I ran to the pantry on my office floor to make myself a cup.

And guess what? It worked. After about 30-minutes post ingestion, I noticed a great reduction in my bloating, and in turn, my formerly agonizing period cramps. At first I thought it might be a fluke; ya’ know, doing something once and getting a positive result doesn’t necessarily mean it works, but I continued to lean on this method during mornings and afternoons (since I can’t really handle caffeine at night) during the entirety of that particular cycle… and it kept working.

Though this method won’t work for everyone (hey, maybe traditional painkillers work for you just fine — congrats!), I was ultimately relieved to find a natural, safe and effective way to relieve the intensity of my pain (while also enjoying the additional health benefits polyphenol-rich green tea has to offer).

So, next time you’re gripping your stomach and sides begging for the sweet release of death (I kid, but it can be brutal for people who menstruate), I recommend reaching for a warm cup of green tea to take the edge off.

Xoxo,

MM.

It’s time to raise your glasses high… VPR is back, friends!

After what feels like a lifetime, the gang from SUR return to bless our screens with, well, more mess (to be frank), but also more looks and more shade than ever before.

For a full episode recap, you can check out this comprehensive download on People.com — and since so many recaps already exist (and because you can just watch it for yourselves on Peacock!), I don’t want to do a basic recap of season 11’s simmering opener. Instead, I want to deep dive into the group dynamic, one by one.

So, strap in, pour yourself a Pumptini, and get ready to dive in—

Every VPR character and how the group dynamic has shifted

Ariana

All hail the queen. Ariana has finally earned her rightful position as the number one gal in this group, since she no longer has roughly ~170 pounds of wimpy man-child weighing her down, and I’m among the lot of you screaming “HALLELUJAH!”

Ariana rubbed me the wrong way for her first few seasons (i.e., gaslighting Kristen, defending Tom even when he was clearly in the wrong, etc.), but over the last few seasons she’d genuinely grown on me. I began to see more clearly the super cool, talented, and reasonable person she is, and it became clear to me that Tommy S. had been casting some sort of weird, wily shadow over her in the earlier seasons (which he alleges was only done to “protect” Ariana, but we all know that’s bullsh*t). Anywho — Ariana has only gotten cooler as the years have gone by, and now that she’s rid of Tom and completely vindicated in her bad-ass revenge tour (and may I say, making the best fashion choices this season!) I love her more than ever.

Tom Schwartz jokingly calls Ariana the “Patron Saint of Scorned Women” in episode one, but I think he’s onto something. Ariana represents a sort of strength we’d all love to see people harness after leaving a toxic relationship, and boy, does she wear it well.

Katie

A queen in her own right for some time now, Katie saw the writing on the wall an entire season ago when it came time to kick her respective Tom to the curb — and though it saddened me at first, it was truly for the best. Nothing has evidenced that more than Katie’s confidence glow-up in the last two seasons, wherein she’s really honed her personal style, stood up for herself in conversations, and held her ground when it comes to protecting her peace and honoring her boundaries.

If you can’t tell, Katie has been my favorite for a while now, and I’m so happy to see her and Ariana take front and center in the new season’s opening sequence (and at ‘Something About Her’, no less)! This is Katie’s freedom era, and I couldn’t be more excited to see her and Ariana team up this season to take down who should’ve been their common enemy all along — the (not-so) mighty, misogynistic TomToms.

James

What can be said for James, other than… he’s now (somehow) the number one guy in this group? To his credit, he’s made huge strides in cleaning up his act the last few seasons, and his personal growth journey has actually been pleasant to watch. I’ve found myself rooting for James the last couple years, because I believe he genuinely wants to be a good person, and put all the sh*tty 20-something-year-old behavior in the past.

He’s proven that in kind by his commitment to quitting drinking, for one, but also in his steadfast commitment to being a better friend to Katie, Ariana, Lala and Scheana. It doesn’t erase the past (wherein he said some despicable things to Kristen and other women), but it does show genuine personal growth in that he now considers the women in the cast and their feelings, thoughts, and accomplishments. He ain’t perfect, but he’s done a hell of a lot more growing up than some of the guys on this show. cough TOM AND TOM cough :’-)

Scheana

I have this feeling in the deepest pit of my stomach that Scheana, though she loves Ariana, is going to do what she does best… flip-flop. Scheana has a complicated history on VPR — is she a “girl’s girl,” or a “pick me”? Is she a genuinely good friend, or does she just want to be liked? We’re going to find out this season, and I’m prepared for the worst, honestly, considering her track record. (Sorry, She-Shu!)

Lala

Speaking of personal growth, Lala has really had some in recent seasons. She’s been through hell and back, and I genuinely feel for (and love) her. She’s an incredible mother, a woman who stands on her business, and now… perhaps the voice for all of us that actually have some empathy for Rachel?

Don’t get me wrong, at first I felt just as Lala did — that Rachel was a horrible person, who did a horrible thing and had no remorse for it. BUT, after truly considering Lala’s (and the internet’s) points about the level of masterful manipulation wormy Tom Sandoval performed on the (honestly) impressionable Rachel, I’ve turned a corner. Like Lala, I still don’t respect what she did and believe she truly effed up, but I also don’t hate the girl. To be fair, I don’t hate Tom either (or anyone), but I definitely have more empathy for Rachel who was genuinely led into the belly of the beast than I do for Tom, who orchestrated the entire affair. I’m on Lala’s side with this one, but it will be interesting to see how she and Ariana interact as they navigate the Rachel-of-it-all this season.

Tom (less evil) Schwartz

Man, oh man. For years I have wanted to like Schwartz. However, he never seems to take any accountability for his actions.

Plus, he has a bug collection now, apparently? He’s a man-child. He hurt Ariana and continues to rub salt in the wound while pulling the “sympathetic sad-sack” act… and I just don’t have much else to say. He’s sort of like a benign lump on a log at this point, and like Katie, I’ve moved on from caring.

Tom (the “worm with a mustache”, the “most extra” evil) Sandoval

I don’t really want to give this guy any more energy, considering I hope the collective pop-culture conscious truly just lets him fizzle out and become yesterday’s news.

To that point, I’m glad he wasn’t in the first episode except for like, thirty seconds and some flashbacks, and I hope he’s not actually going to try and apologize his way back into the group this season. I’m sure he will try, I just hope people don’t fall for it. For years I told fellow viewers something was “off” about Tommy S. (for which I was often roasted alive on the r/vanderpumprules subreddit), and lo-and-behold, I (and Jax, and Kristen, and many others) was right.

I’m over this man. We all should be. Blah, blah, blah.

Lisa

Lisa will always be Lisa. She will always defend the boys, but at least she’s not berating the girls as hard this season. She shows genuine empathy for Ariana’s awkward situation at TomTom in episode one, and that’s at least more than LVP ever did for Kristen Doute. So that’s a plus, I guess? Whatever, she’ll forever be fabulous, and we’ll all always love her either way. Right?

So, what did you think of the Vanderpump season opener? Who are you rooting for (or against) this season? Let’s discuss.

Xoxo,

MM.

Note: I am not a cosmetic professional, and this blog is not intended to be taken as personal beauty or personal hygiene/health advice. This post does not contain any affiliate links.

I’m not one to rant and rave about beauty products super publicly, because I’m a firm believer that (though some products/product lines are just categorically more “quality” than others) everyone’s skin/hair/body/etc. reacts differently to things. IMHO, finding a “favorite” beauty product is a really personal, trial-and-error ridden process.

However, I would be doing you all a disservice if I didn’t put you on to a beauty product that has actually saved me a ton of money and boosted my confidence in recent months, so I feel compelled to put this out there — the Advanced Eyelash Growth Serum by WeWell is the affordable, effective, and non-irritating eyelash serum I am begging you to try. Let me explain —

I’ve always had sparse, short and blonde eyelashes

Despite trying every “miracle” mascara in the book, my eyelashes have just never been that long, or that full, or that… frankly, visible at all. Sure, mascara gives them some tint (as my natural lashes are actually really light, blonde, and essentially transparent), but even with layers of eyelash primer and “boosting, miracle, WOW!” mascara (IYKYK), nothing really ever made them pop.

Fake eyelashes are incredibly tedious for someone like me (i.e., someone who is on the lazier side of the makeup routine spectrum), and eyelash extensions can quickly become just as tedious for someone like me who would likely be too lazy to properly care for them — maybe TMI, but at least I’m self-aware, right?

I eventually turned to lash lifts and tinting, which was great (and which I’d still posit as a solution for those looking into it), but needed to be done at least every six weeks, and can cost a decent amount of $$$ once you get into the habit.

Fortunately, after all that trial and error, I turned to the internet (as one does), and I finally found a solution that makes my natural lashes pop that requires a super minimal amount of effort — the Advanced Eyelash Growth Serum by WeWell that I espoused before. But, how exactly does this product work, and how well did it work for me in the end?

This eyelash growth serum actually works (and I no longer need to constantly get a lash lift)

According to WeWell’s website, The Advanced Eyelash Growth Serum is “Infused with cutting-edge ingredients renowned for their gentleness and soothing properties” and is “meticulously crafted to stimulate lash growth, amplifying both length and thickness.” They also state that this product was made for “Delving deep into the lash follicles, the serum’s potent blend nurtures lashes at their roots.”

Containing gentle ingredients that don’t irritate the eye (seriously, I have super dry/allergy-prone eyes and wear contacts daily, and I’ve never had an issue), this product can be placed directly on the lash-line with the small brush-on tool, and that’s literally all you have to do. I saw results in about a week with consistent use, and now after around 6 weeks of use I’d say my eyelashes and much fuller, and at least half a centimeter longer than they were before (which doesn’t sound like much, but lashes are small, y’all, and every little bit counts).

I recommend not passing on this product, and feel free to email or DM me if you have any questions, comments, or other beauty products you’d like to see me try and promote! Check out the photos below to see what my eyelashes looked like this very morning (after about ~7 weeks of serum use), and stay tuned for more of my current beauty faves on Miranda Muses:

Xoxo,

MM.

Note: I am not a doctor nor mental health professional. This is not intended to be viewed or used as professional medical or mental health advice.

Recently, I listened to an incredibly insightful podcast on the anterior mid-cingulate cortex — and I thought to myself, “what the hell is that?”

Well, it’s a functional part of your brain that does a funny little trick, actually. The “anterior mid-cingulate cortex” (or, “aMCC”) is the part of your brain that actually thrives on you doing things you don’t want to do.

I know, I know — my whole mantra in life is “SET BETTER BOUNDARIES,” right? Well, yes. However, sometimes things that aren’t pushing your boundaries still fall under the category of “things (you) don’t want to do,” and as a person living with OCD and clinical depression, that concept is all too real. Let me break it down —

What do you hate doing, but have to do?

Here’s an all-too-relatable example; you probably don’t want to do your laundry, or those dishes, or whatever other annoying household chore has fallen on your plate today. BUT, you know you have to do it (womp, womp). So, you have basically have two options — get up and get it over and done with, or procrastinate and feel probably fairly anxious about it later as things start to “pile on.”

Have you ever been in that boat? Because I’ve definitely been there, done that, and won the t-shirt. However, there’s a way to make yourself actually more likely to choose the first, “get it done”, option — and that’s exactly where building up your willpower comes into play.

How to build up resilience and willpower (to get stuff done)

I’m obviously not a neuroscientist, and this is still a relatively novel area of study, but the “just do it” mantra doesn’t always work. Sometimes, you can’t physically make yourself do something, because guess what? It takes practice.

Well, according to emerging science, that’s where the anterior mid-cingulate comes in to play. Again, I’m no neuroscientist (and I’d encourage you to read the entire paper to learn more), but the TL;DR as I understand it goes a little something like this: you do something, however tedious it may be, because you have to; you continue doing the thing, even if you don’t necessarily love to do it; as with anything, that tedious thing becomes something of a habit; your brain rewards you by actually becoming better at/less annoyed by doing the tedious chore or task in question; the resilience (and potentially the activity) of your anterior mid-cingulate cortext grows; you’re more likely to be able to take on other tedious tasks you don’t want to do, and to self-motivate in the long run.

While that may sound like a vast over-simplification (because, well, it is), that’s sort of what it all boils down to in the end. Habit. If you want to become more likely to make better choices, you have to practice doing it — and that process won’t look perfect. Hell, I know for me it can look really, really messy; but, in the long run, building these habits helps your brain build up a core element of resilience, which is willpower.

So, what tedious task could you get ahead of today? Do the dishes need doing? How about that load of laundry that’s been staring you down from the corner of the bedroom for some time now (guilty as charged)? It’s not fun, of course, to do these things — but it’s encouraging to know that a little effort goes a long way in terms of our long-term ability to be more tenacious and resilient.

Xoxo,

MM.

The old adage may have some truth to it, but it’s never too late (or too early!) to make a change for the better.

This time of year you’re going to hear a lot about “resolutions.” The dictionary definition of the term “resolution”, in this context, is, “The act of determining,“ which makes sense — we all seem to be more determined this time of year than any other. Perhaps we’re determined to change our health habits, advance in our careers, or improve our personal relationships. Or, maybe we’re determined to begin a new hobby, or finish an old project we’d long ago abandoned, etc., etc., etc.

No matter what it is we’re determined to do, I find that having a “New Year’s resolution” can be a helpful motivator, but often fades by mid-January into typical white noise against the backdrop of these busy lives we all lead. So, how do you stay motivated all year long (and not be too hard on yourself along the way)? Here are some of my top tips for ditching the “New Year, New Me” mantra and focusing on living your best life all year long.

It’s never too late to “get it together”

One of the issues that can crop up with New Year’s resolutions relates to the timing — I mean, it’s in the name itself. New Year’s resolutions can make you feel like you have to begin them on January 1st, or else the whole thing’s a bust, right? Well, no. You can start a resolution or a new healthy habit (or literally anything you want to do) at any time of the year. Or, in any stage of your life!

That’s right — it’s never too late to “get it together,” AKA to do exactly what it is you want to do, whenever you want to do it. You’re not “too old” to learn that new hobby; You aren’t too “unfit” to pick up that running plan; It’s not “too late” to participate in dry January. Whatever the case may be, you can decide to pick up a new habit, or ditch an old one, at any time. You’re stronger than you think, and you have what it takes to be your own motivation.

… Nor is it too early

Alternatively, you don’t have to wait until the end of the year each year to honor your resolutions, either! Like I said — you have wht it takes to motivate yourself any time of year, for any reason. If you want to improve your mental health, physical health, or overall wellbeing, you can take small steps starting right now to do so. That is well within your power, and doesn’t that feel good?

So, where do you want to be six weeks from now? Six months, even? Focus on your goals, keep pushing, and remember — it’s never too late, or too soon, to start over. You’re doing amazing, sweetie; keep it up!

Xoxo,

MM.

Recently, I purchased and read author Mallory Magnolia’s first full-length compilation of poetry, ‘Strength and Softness’. A raw, beautiful compendium focused on themes of love and loss (during an intense period of self-discovery), this was one of my top books of 2023. Read on to learn more about Mallory Magnolia’s literary debut (and get a deep-dive on my three favorite poems from the collection), then purchase it online wherever books are sold!

Three stand-out poems from ‘Strength and Softness’

Wild Turkey

Penned as a self-proclaimed “emergency napkin poem”, this particular piece feels like someone speaking words from the soul that few are able to vocalize. The familiarity of references to an old hat, a moth drawn to light, and other emotionally evocative images draw you in and make this poem more viscerally relatable than perhaps any I’ve ever read before.

Salmon Run

A poem that draws on familiar references to the mountains of West Virginia and the natural world, this piece brings together the complexity of how one may feel on the inside, and how that experience is paralleled by the rough edges of the world around us. This piece made me long for home, and also reminded me of the experiences we’ve all had, when our emotions feel as large and powerful as the currents of a river, or the harshness of rocks beneath our bare feet.

682 Miles to Home

Another piece that calls upon the emotionally evocative and relatable nuances of life and love, this poem speaks to the desire to “swallow” the pain those around us may be feeling. This poem brought tears to my eyes, as it reminded me of the quiet moments in life when I’ve longed (as we all have) to save someone from a secret pain they just can’t seem to shake. A masterfully crafted piece, this poem will make you not just think, but also feel, and that is the mark of great poetry.

Overall, this book is evocative, masterfully crafted, and brought a feeling of warmth and hope to my soul. You do not want to miss this debut from West Virginia author, Mallory Magnolia.

Xoxo,

MM.

We all know the old adage, “would you say that to your best friend?” — but applying the same grace and compassion we give to others to ourselves is, well, not so simple.

Lately, I’ve fallen off of my gym routine. Not completely; I still work out a lot of days. However, my routine gym days have turned more into occasional gym “express runs” after work, or early in the morning, or whenever I can fit them in.

And guess what? I’ve been beating myself up about it. Hard. I began my gym routine to help my mental health, as well as my physical health, and letting it slip feels like a personal failure somehow — and that is the problem.

When we frame ourselves as “guilty” of something, we inherently absorb undue shame, frustration, and negative self-talk abounds. I’m not guilty of slipping up on my gym routine — it’s just something that’s happened, and that’s life. Things happen. Other things have been taking my time and energy lately, and it’s okay to take some seasons to focus on other things that bring me joy.

However, I found my initial reaction interesting; why were guilt, shame and negative self-talk my knee-jerk reaction to a simple shift in routine? Let’s dig into that a little bit.

Why we’re harder on ourselves than anybody else

There is evidence to support that being hard on ourselves can be influenced by many things (with low self-esteem surprisingly being one of the less likely reasons), including our religious upbringing, how we were parented, our para-social relationships, and much, much more. According to Medium, “We feel that if we show ourselves compassion, we’re being self-indulgent and selfish,” and I believe that is the crux of it.

Think about it this way; in most cultures, and certainly in American culture, we’re often taught from a young age to overextend ourselves (and not complain about it). We work ourselves to the bone; we’re taught to not make a fuss, or be a bother; we hyper-focus on unsustainable productivity (in many areas of our lives); and we definitely go out of our way to help one another (which is a good thing… but aren’t we someone, too?).

All that to say, we have a serious issue of people thinking being burnt out, overstimulated, and under-cared for is normal, which leads to us beating ourselves up when we feel badly about our situation, or when we slip up or make an honest mistake.

The typical way I’ve heard we should reframe these thoughts is by asking ourselves if we would treat someone we love the way we’re treating ourselves in those low moments; for example, would you say that mean, self-deprecating remark you just made to your mom, or your best friend? No, you wouldn’t. However, I find that strategy doesn’t always work, as it’s sometimes hard to catch our thoughts in the moment and actively put a stop to them. So, what else can we do?

Practice daily affirmations and engage in positive self-talk

I’ve written about giving yourself a break (and more credit) before, and I want to really drive that point home. It is okay to give yourself a break. You are allowed to rest. You are a person, too, and you deserve just as much love, compassion, and respect as you believe everyone else does. So, what can giving yourself a break and more credit look like in practice? Here are a few tidbits of inspiration to help you get started:

• Engage in positive self-talk. Intentionally set aside time in the morning when you wake up, or at night before you go to bed, to say three positive things about yourself. Maybe you can say something like, “I crushed that presentation at work today,” or even just “I got through today, and that is enough.” Or, compliment yourself. Maybe you remind yourself that you’re a kind person, or that you’re particularly good at lending a helping hand to others in need. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself, focus on that.

• Practice daily affirmations. In addition to positive self-talk, positive affirmations are a great way to shift your focus and help you visualize and achieve your goals. Try affirmations such as, “I am capable,” or “I am doing my best,” or more specific affirmations like, “I am working toward achieving my goal of (X),” and you’ll be surprised how your life begins to change. It seems cliché, but a little shift in mindset to remind us that we are worthy and we deserve good things can truly go a long way.

So, are you giving yourself enough grace? Don’t beat yourself up — you’re only human, and that’s all you have to be.

Xoxo,

MM.

‘Tis the season.

The holiday season is ramping up, and that means the holiday shopping season is already in full swing. Haven’t started shopping for that perfect gift for that special someone on your list? Don’t fret. Here’s my 2023 holiday gift guide, with a little something for everyone — no matter your budget.

Holiday gift ideas on a budget

When it comes to holiday gifting on a budget, I learned a hack from some fellow Appalachians years ago that has stuck with me into adulthood.

You’re likely already planning to do some holiday baking, and have already worked that into your holiday budget, right? Right. So, why not share the love in the form of homemade baked treats this holiday season?

You can buy super cheap, festively decorated cookie and fudge tins at the Dollar Tree, fill them up with the holiday you goodies you were already planning to bake (even if you have to make a couple extra batches), and viola! Baking holiday treats makes for a super budget-friendly and extra thoughtful gift (since it comes from your own time and effort, and it’s made with love!) and you can gift these tins to whole families, or to individuals, for them to enjoy this holiday season.

Romantic holiday gifts for your partner

Romance is in the air this holiday season, and if you’re a sucker for Lifetime movie holiday romance (like me, ofc), then you’ll love these romantic, unique and experiential holiday gift ideas, like…

• Two tickets to the ice skating rink! Even though I can’t ice skate, Andrew and I always have a great time when I try (and he smokes me on the ice), and either way it makes for a romantic winter evening.

• A hot cocoa bomb kit, and a Netflix gift card. You can buy hot cocoa bomb kits at Target, Walmart, and other large retailers (or make your own if you’re savvy in the kitchen!), and get your boo thing a Netflix gift card to create the perfect, romantic winter night-in together.

• Some comfy PJs, perfect for those cold winter nights. What makes snuggling better? Snuggling in warm PJs on a chilly night, of course. If your S/O doesn’t have a pair of perfectly warm and snuggly winter PJs, pajamas make a great gift (and encourage you to get a little closer) all season long.

Unique holiday gifts for your bestie

I know my besties very well, and I’m sure you know yours well, too. And if I know one thing about them, it’s that they love being reminded that I care, and that our friendship matters to me, and super-personalized gifts do exactly that.

One of my favorite shops in the Manayunk neighborhood (my stomping grounds!) in Philadelphia that specializes in personal, functional gifts is The Little Apple Boutique. From adorable monogrammed wine glasses and bar cart fare, to cookbooks, throw pillows, blankets, quirky (and highly personalized!) cards and more, The Little Apple has something for literally everyone, including your bestie that loves Harry Styles and homemade cocktail kits — no, seriously, they have Harry Styles themed cards and homemade cocktail kits, for real.

The best part? You don’t have to be in Philly to shop The Little Apple. You can also shop their online store any time, from anywhere!

Experiential holiday gifts (for the person who has everything)

Hearkening back to experiential gifts (but not necessarily romantic ones!), the person who has absolutely everything certainly doesn’t need more stuff — but they might need a night out on the town, or a new hobby! Here are some experience-focused ideas to gift your friends and loved ones that have enough things, but could use some more fun:

• A cooking class. Even if someone is already pretty good in the kitchen, a cooking class is always a great way to expand their skillset and learn a new dish or two. Plus, it’s fun!

• A mixology class. Speaking of fun, a mixology class teaches your friends and loved ones how to amp up their bartending skills (which could really benefit you and the entire friend group in the end, when you think about it).

• A sip and paint night. The person you’re gifting doesn’t necessarily have to be an artiste to enjoy a sip and paint night; as a matter of fact, sip and paint nights are great for relaxing, having a glass of wine, and letting a professional guide you through the more complex parts of creating your masterpiece.

So, who are you shopping for this holiday season? What would truly light them up and make them smile as we head into the new year? Let’s discuss,

Xoxo,

MM.

As most of you know, one year ago my mother-in-law passed away. It was sudden, it was unexpected, and it was (to say the least) devastating. 

My husband was crushed. I was crushed. Our world came to a standstill in a matter of moments; after a single phone call from the NYPD, the sky came crashing down all around us and the pieces of our lives suddenly didn’t fit together anymore like they used to.

I’d experienced grief before, but after a time it had softened — lessened, sunk into a deep part of me that I was able to put away on a shelf. But this time, when it came back around, it came back with a renewed sense of ferocity. The familiar grief I’d felt years before when my grandmother passed now felt stronger, more intense, more suffocating; the denial piece was more palpable than ever. I’d never lost someone so close to me so unexpectedly. I remember thinking, when I was finally able to think after that horrible phone call, “This isn’t supposed to happen.” 

And, well, that’s life. Sometimes unexpected things happen — and sometimes they’re terrible, horrible, awful things — and we have to learn how to deal with them, because we have no other choice but to keep on keeping on. To wake up the next morning. To go through time, like we always do, and somehow get on with this so-called life. 

So, in the span of one year, my experience with grief taught me a lot of lessons; how to fall apart, how to just survive the fall, how to start piecing it all back together, and how to get on with the show (even when you don’t want to). Here are some of my key takeaways from the past year:

You’ll fall apart — and that’s okay

Of course, the first thing that happened after the initial shock wore off was deep, paralyzing, and stunning pain. The kind of emotional pain that you can feel physically, down to your bones, when you feel literally sick to your stomach. Andrew and I both felt it, and we both hated it. This phase is kind of the worst, but during this phase your support system will rally around you like never before; and please, please let them.

Our family and friends rallied for us when we could barely sleep, eat, and much less do things like clean our house or go to work (while also planning a funeral, coordinating a cremation, etc. etc. etc.), and I will never forget it. The gratitude I feel for every friend, family member, co-worker, and acquaintance that reached out to us and helped or supported us in any way during that time kept us alive, and allowed us to wrestle the most unimaginable part of grief while they picked up the rest.

You’ll do some weird stuff — that’s okay, too

Do you know what begins to happen shortly after you fall apart? You find the pieces don’t quite fit like they used to when you try to put ‘em back together (at least not yet), and that a couple screws feel a little looser than they used to.

You might find yourself putting your phone in the microwave and your Hot Pocket in your purse (no, seriously), because your brain just isn’t firing like it used to. You might find that you want to be a crying mess on the couch one night, then fly off the rails the next night and stay up with your friends until 3 AM singing Britney Spears karaoke (badly). You might eat an entire pint of ice cream and a whole pizza out of sheer stress in :30 seconds one day, then find yourself too heartsick to eat anything the next. You might not recognize yourself for a while; you might make some mistakes, or do things you wouldn’t usually do.

But, the most important part? Giving yourself some grace. There is no clearly defined timeline on how long this stuff will mess with your head, and if you’re feeling a little “out of whack” for a while, that’s perfectly normal. Be kind to yourself.

You’ll find a “new normal” … eventually

As cliché as it sounds, you will survive this. Even when it feels impossible to go on. Even when you fall apart, fly off the rails, and all the other stuff I mentioned — you will survive. You may not feel yourself “thrive” for a while, but you will survive this. You must. You will wake up every day and face it, and maybe you barely get by, but you will live through this… and you will be so glad you did.

The best way I’ve found to honor my mother-in-law is to keep living. And that’s what Andrew and I have done. In the last year we had some paralyzing moments, some whacky moments, some moments of intense sadness and moments of intense joy, and that’s exactly what life is meant to be — a strange, eclectic amalgam of all the messy and beautiful things this world has to offer, and eventually you will wake up and you will feel normal again. Whatever “normal” means; but you get the point.

Anyhow, all this to say — I miss you, Deirdre. We all do. But I’m here. I’m doing the dang thing. I’m trying my best and learning as I go; and that’s all ya’ can do.

Xoxo,

MM.