There’s some (horrors) in this house.

I think we’ve established that Halloween is my favorite holiday, yeah? Okay, cool.

Along with the autumn leaves and pumpkin spice lattes, Halloween season brings some additional tricks and treats, including an influx of haunted attractions that seem to pop up like wildfires across the country.

Personally, I love a good haunted attraction. I love haunted houses, haunted hayrides, haunted asylums, whatever you could possibly “haunt”, basically — and here in Philadelphia, we have some great haunts lurking around every corner of the city that you can enjoy. I’ve visited the top four in the area, and here’s what I have to say about each spooky season spectacle:

Pennhurst Asylum: Well worth the trek to the ‘burbs

Andrew and I took the trek out to Pennhurst Asylum for the first time this year, and it did not disappoint. We went with the Super VIP ticket package (the “RIP VIP” package, actually), which allowed us to actually join a paranormal investigation in the abandoned/unoccupied portions of the Asylum after we went through the various haunted attractions… and honestly? I don’t know which was scarier, because they were both incredible.

Pennhurst itself holds a particular energy that is palpable from the moment you step foot onto the grounds. You feel strange, as if the air is thicker and colder, and a certain heaviness settles in. The actors in the haunts rely a lot on the atmospheric density of Pennhurst as you walk throughout the attractions, with some of them not needing to say a word to suddenly appear from a corner and scare the living #%$* out of you, and the incredible set pieces are just as well done as something you’d see at a high-end theme park, like Universal Studios or something.

The paranormal investigation that follows, if you go the VIP route, is impressive in an entirely different manner; it’s dark, somber, freaky, and you do not feel like you’re alone. It’s hard to explain (as a “vibe” is something you generally have to feel for yourself), but it’s there. It’s… something. And if you have the guts, I suggest you check it out.

Lincoln Mill Haunt: Manayunk’s spooky, historical gem

I may be a bit biased (as Manayunk is my neighborhood and I absolutely love it in general!), but the Lincoln Mill Haunt is a spine-chilling (and thrilling) haunt that will leave you on the edge of your seat. As soon as you step foot inside, you’ll be transported to a world of terror and suspense — seriously. The special effects make up, the ambiance, and the pacing are on point; you feel your adrenaline spiking the entire time, which is a tip off to just how well they’ve gone about nailing the flow of the haunt this season.

Additionally, the cast of haunt actors are nothing short of remarkable, with incredibly realistic zombies, ghosts, and other creatures lurking around every corner (and remaining terrifyingly in character throughout). The attention to detail is impressive, making you feel like you’re part of a horror movie. Combined with the dimly lit corridors and eerie soundscapes, the atmosphere is truly haunting — we ran out screaming, just so ya’ know!

Eastern State Penitentiary: Locked down and loaded (with ghouls!)

Now, let’s talk about Eastern State Penitentiary. This hauntingly historic prison takes Halloween to a whole new level. As you walk through the ominous halls, you can’t help but feel a sense of unease and curiosity — whether you’re in one of the haunts or not. Atmosphere is something they really lean into here, with good reason — it’s an intensely creepy place to be, even in broad daylight.

To add to that, the special effects makeup here is also top-notch, with actors portraying the spirits of former inmates with incredible authenticity. The crumbling walls and decaying cells add to the overall ambiance, giving you a taste of what life was like for prisoners long ago. It’s a truly immersive experience that will give you goosebumps and make you question what’s lurking in the shadows. Plus, the multiple beer gardens and lounges on campus allow you to make an evening out of it, grabbing snacks and drinks between haunted halls and spending a spooky evening in one of the most notorious landmarks in the city!

So, what are you favorite haunts in your area? Let’s discuss, and have a Happy Halloween!

Xoxo, MM.

If there’s one thing you should know about Philadelphia, it’s that it is absolutely teeming with talent. From the mural artists making Philly the most prolific city in the Mural Arts Program, to the players at Walnut Street and Ash Theatre companies bringing Broadway to Broad Street, Philadelphia houses more than its fair share of talented folks, running the gamut of the arts.

One area that particularly caught my interest upon moving here seven years ago was Philly’s colorful, innovative, inclusive, and passionate music scene. Post-punk and hardcore bands have long had a foothold here, as well as hip-hop icons like Meek Mill, and now a new era has emerged — the era of the young Philadelphia rappers, who also work as DJs, audio engineers, and producers, that are lighting up the area’s nightlife and underground club scene week after week, night after night.

I recently connected with one of these multitalented individuals — a local Philadelphia rapper, audio engineer, and musician who writes all of his own music, Miguel Ducos, and was instantly drawn to his signature musical style – Puerto Rican flare meets the polished-yet-gritty toughness of Philadelphia’s hip-hop scene, creating an atmospheric soundscape that lets his clever lyrics shine over bassed-down, uptempo beats.

Recently, Miguel and I met to discuss his music (and where he plans to go from here). It went a little something like this —

Miguel Ducos sets the tempo on his musical career

Miguel and I began our conversation with the basics — “What made you get into music, anyhow?”

He answered with passionate fervor, “Honestly, looking back, it isn’t just a single moment in time — there isn’t a moment where I’m able to pin point one exact thing where I was like ‘AH! This is when!’ I remember my mom was heavy on keeping me around music and church growing up, when we were bouncing around state to state, place to place when I was a kid. My love for (music) though, the true love, is the pure dancing and salsa music my grandparents played when I used to live in Puerto Rico with them. And then, fast-forward and I end up in middle school meeting my future brother and best friend, Nicky Ra. When we met, we’d free style for hours, days, in my mama’s basement so we didn’t bother her with the noise. Or like in my car I had in high school at North Penn. for quite some time. Once college hit, I was honestly depressed though, because I was somewhat forced to pursue a college education for business administration and management.  My mom was always business oriented, and so whenever I was around her and her business partners it stuck with me —  I picked up business from an early age. I felt it naturally. And schooling was so I could try and figure this whole thing out. But, when it came to writing music, rapping, that’s what I wanted to do. At ESU, especially. After a, thankfully, failed attempt at suicide, I actually found myself at peace at the psychiatric hospital. I had one thing to do, and one thing only, and that was to write and be in my thoughts for quite sometime.  So after all that, I dropped out of college, and decided I was going to take a year to hone my musical skills, and pursue my musical career. And here we are in 2023 — I think it’s safe to say I made the best decision I could’ve by staying alive, pursuing my dreams and saying to the world, ‘This is why I do what I do. Because I love it, it’s my therapy and my muse.’ Music is literally my saving grace.  And at this point in life, having had individuals tell me my music has ‘changed their life,’ why would I stop?“

I was floored by his response, honestly, because the passion for music runs so deep within him. Wondering how I could possibly follow that up (because that was possibly one of the best answers I’ve ever received during an interview), we then got into some of the more rapid-fire questions:

Q: How would you describe your musical style to someone who hasn’t listened yet?

A: My influences are mainly Spanish, Hip-Hop, and Rap. When I meet people and they ask me, I say I’m “if J. Cole, Travis Scott, Kanye, and Marc Anthony dumped all their styles into a pot, mixed in Miguel Ducos, then you get me!”

Q: What track are you most excited for people to hear on the upcoming album, ‘Be Glad I Made It’?

A: For sure ‘Salsa En Botswana’! And ‘Holy Holy Holy’.  ‘Salsa En Botswana’ is when I’m trying to mix both of my family heritages, being mixed half Black and Puerto Rican, with Spanish singing, and a smoother flow. And ‘Holy Holy Holy’ is for my ragers — I’m telling you, everyone’s gonna sing this!

Q: What track are you most proud of from your career thus far?

A: Honestly, ‘Views From The 215’ is what got me on the map, and ‘Who Over Us?’ helped carry me over to this point in my musical career, along with my EP, ‘Takeover Season’, which I released this past March.

Q: Is there anything else you want people to know about you as an artist, or as a person?

A: Don’t let my social media fool you (hah). One, no one’s perfect, I’ve gotten some weird messages from people talking to me like I’m not on standing on the same earth as them — makes me feel weird. Two, when I make it big…. I just hope people see me as an example to just believe in themselves against all odds — even when the whole world is against you, you stand up and you say,“no, the world’s wrong.”

Q: Where can people listen to your latest music, and when can they expect more to drop?

A: Spotify, Apple Music, and all platforms! Just look up “Miguel Ducos” and tap into my discography.  You won’t be disappointed with the very diverse sound — I promise!

Miguel Ducos is one to watch — full of talent, passion, and drive, this Philadelphia-area rapper is going places. You just have to keep up.

Xoxo,

MM.

As someone who’s struggled with a life-long anxiety disorder, for, well, my entire life, I know a thing or two about “false flags”. Those moments when your body kicks into fight-or-flight, for whatever reason, and you have to ask your conscious self, “Is this for real?”

Well, the answer is complicated. Anxiety and fear are natural, normal responses that we’ve developed biologically to help us escape a threat of some kind — which makes sense, right? Errr, sometimes. Sometimes (like in my case, or in the case of someone with a panic disorder, a history of anxiety issues, PTSD or CPTSD, etc.) our minds get a little too good at sounding the biological alarm, and trigger that primal reflex when we’re really not in any danger at all.

However, sometimes we are in danger, or just “don’t feel quite right” about something, and it’s 100% valid. And again, sometimes we get that feeling, only to find it’s a complete misfire — a “false alarm”, so to speak, when really everything is fine.

So, how can someone with a history of anxiety and these “false alarm” feelings learn to discern between their natural “gut” intuition, and their anxiety jumping the gun? I’m no expert, nor a medical professional, but here are some exercises that have helped me when things get a little murky.

“Real” threats vs. false alarms

Sometimes, the simplest solution to sorting out a “real” threat from a false alarm is asking yourself (i.e., your conscious self), a few quick questions:

• Am I in physical danger?

• Am I in emotional danger?

• Am I around people I trust?

• Am I in a safe space? Safe at home, or safe where I am currently?

If you can go through these questions, and confidently answer “yes” to each of them, you’re likely a-okay. However, if you do answer “no” to any of these questions, it’s best to remove yourself from the situation. Your gut paired with these conscious thought exercises will let you know if something is really wrong — always use your best judgment, and don’t be afraid to walk away from situations that aren’t serving you.

When to reach out for help

If you find yourself having these “alarms” go off multiple times a day, it might be time to seek help. Personally, therapy and doctor-monitored medication have helped me immensely — always work with a professional, and don’t be afraid to try multiple therapists or mental health practitioners until you feel you’ve found the one that’s right for you.

If you’re anything like me, you likely get anxious from time to time (and maybe more often than some other folks you know). However, you can overcome anxiety by nurturing your mind and body, and taking it a little easier on yourself sometimes.

Do you have any tips for self-soothing and sussing out what’s real vs. what’s no big deal? Let’s discuss,

Xoxo, MM.

‘Tis the season to be spooky.

It’s the first week of October, which means you only have four weeks to watch all the iconic Halloween-themed and horror-filled movies that make the season so great. From the wholesome DCOMs of times past to the horrific slasher franchises that are still going strong, here is your ultimate Halloween horror movie marathon checklist, week by week.

Week one: Wholesome Halloween

If you’re anything like me, you probably enjoy the “cute” bits of Halloween just as much as the bone-chilling. Speaking of, Disney and Tim Burton (and sometimes both!) have churned out a ton of wholesome Halloween films throughout the years, and in one week you can knock out the lot of ‘em:

• Beetlejuice

• Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas

• Hocus Pocus

• Halloweentown

• Twitches

• The Corpse Bride

• Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge

With one film for each night of the week, these wholesome spooky season flicks will be fun for the whole family to take in during the first week of October!

Week two: Supernatural Horror

If you’re looking for some less family-friendly titles, supernatural horror just screams Halloween. Try these flicks for the next week of your ultimate Halloween movie marathon:

• Talk to Me

• The Conjuring

• Rosemary’s Baby

• The Exorcist

• Hellraiser (1987)

• Hellraiser 2: Hellword

• Alien

If ghosts, ghouls, and aliens creep you out (like they certainly do for me), you’ll have a terrifyingly good time taking in these classic supernatural titles.

Week three: Vampires everywhere!

We’ve now come to my favorite part of Halloween — vampires! From film adaptations of Anne Rice’s iconic characters, to the campier 80’s vampires and beyond, here’s your guide to an epic, vamped-out marathon during the third week of October:

• Interview with the Vampire

• Queen of the Damned

• The Lost Boys

• Twilight

• Blade

• Van Helsing

• Dracula (1931)

Week four: Slashers Galore

When it comes to Halloween, there’s no better way to finish out the season strong than by taking in some classic, slash-y horror masterpieces. From the iconic franchises to the newer fare, here’s how to close our the last week of October strong:

• A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

• Scream (1996)

• Friday the 13th

• Halloween

• Saw

• Candyman

• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

So, are you ready for Spooky Season? What films would you add to the list? Let’s discuss, and have a very happy Halloween!

Xoxo,

MM.

And troubleshooting how to fix it — I’ve gone through all the fits and starts, so you don’t have to.

Boy oh boy – do I have an update for you all. After a year of being tested for a thyroid disorder, hormonal imbalance, and a litany of other things that may be causing my fatigue, anxiety, and the like, it turns out I’m just B12 deficient.

Yup.

That’s it.

All my other bloodwork was perfect, which is really confusing, because I’ve had bouts of feeling absolutely a-w-f-u-l for the last year or so, and I was certain something was seriously wrong.

Well, that’s somewhat true. A B12 deficiency can become serious if untreated, and I can’t believe the laundry list of symptoms a lack of B12 can cause in both the body and mind. Let me explain —

My B12 deficiency symptoms

My “symptoms” had probably gone on longer than I even knew, to be honest, and B12 deficiency can persist for years before symptoms occur. Here are what I believe were my earliest symptoms:

• Unexplained weight loss

• Anxiety (more than usual)

• Fatigue

And here are the symptoms that made me get checked out, once and for all:

• Heart palpitations

• Tingling limbs

• Fainting

The more serious my symptoms got, the more desperate I got for an answer (because, trust me, these symptoms could really screw up my day when they hit at inopportune moments).

Not all supplements will work for you

As soon as I was diagnosed with a B12 deficiency, the first thing I wanted to know was how to fix it. I began taking B12 supplements, at a very high dose, in sublingual drops under the tongue. However, this really didn’t help me much, because sometimes too much B12 can “overshoot” the target (which is what happened to me), leading to a worsening of my symptoms for a few days. The anxiety, sweating, nausea, and other strange symptoms got very intense before I decided to back off the B12 straight-up, and switch to a multivitamin (with my doctor’s guidance) that includes B12 (but not at such a heroic, massive dose).

In other words — for some people, straight up B12 works wonders. For others (like me!) it can actually complicate the situation even more. Point is, always work with a medical professional to figure out what works best for you and your body.

B12 injections vs tablets vs multivitamins

That said, I tolerate multivitamins a lot better than regular B12, but so many folks who take straight-up B12 injections or sublingual (which means, under the tongue) tablets find great symptom relief and achieve optimal health with these methods.

So, that’s what I’ve been dealing with lately. As I’m flushing this heroic “overshot” dose of B12 out of my system (and boy, what a ride that’s been), I’m still feeling head-achey and a little more anxious than usual. However, since I’ve started my multivitamin regimen, my physical symptoms are much better and I’m beginning to feel more like my old self again (and in a matter of days I know I will be back at 100%).

All this to say, B12 deficiency can be sneaky, dangerous if left untreated, and there’s no one-size approach that will work for everyone when it comes to treating it. Always work with your doctor to figure out what’s right for you, and if you’ve experienced similar symptoms, I encourage you to get checked out ASAP.

Xoxo,

MM.

After attending some of the lovely industry events and runway shows during Philly Fashion Week 2023, I spotted some of this season’s top trends coming up again and again. If you want to know what trends you’re most likely to spot on the streets and in the stores in winter 2023 and beyond, look no further.

The top trends of 2023 and 2024

Here are just a few of the trends I spotted making their debut (or long-awaited come back) during Philly Fashion Week 2023 —

• Denim on denim: Don’t let Justin Timberlake know that the “Canadian Tuxedo” is back — denim on denim was abound at Philly Fashion Week, and this trend most frequently sees a denim jacket paired with distressed jeans, making for a more fashionable twist on the more 80’s style denim explosion TL;DR, denim on denim can be done right!

• Leather (or faux-leather): Leather is always in, IMO, and though I prefer faux-leather (let’s be kind to the animals, yeah?), leather jackets and pants aren’t going anywhere, it seems. This trend will remain a fall/winter staple through at least 2023.

• 2010’s: Chunky necklaces, sparkly tops, and blazers? Yep — they’re back! The 2010’s are making a comeback, and I’m just glad I kept all my clothes from that era.

• Furrrrrrr: Faux furs were everywhere. Ofc using real fur is not cool (I mean, come on, it’s 2023), but faux fur hats, coats, and boots were all over the runway this season. It’s giving ski chalet, and I’m here for it!

• Streetwear: Street style and comfortable-yet-stylish clothes are the hallmark of Gen Z fashion, and it’s seeping into the mainstream. Baggy pants, t-shirts, sneakers, and expressive patterns on messenger bags are all in at the moment (and I know I’m not the only one who’s super relieved that Gen Z is killing the high-heels at the club trend, right?).

So, what are you wearing in winter 2023 and beyond? Let’s discuss,

Xoxo,

MM

Or possibly one of the best of the last decade?

*Warning! This review contains spoilers.

Last night, I finally had the opportunity to watch the Australian breakout horror film Talk to Me. Though the film initially debuted and ran the festival circuit in 2022, its wide release in the US came last month — and boy oh boy, was it worth the wait.

Here’s why I’m going to go ahead and make the bold statement that Talk to Me is the best horror film of 2023 (and possibly the best of the last decade).

What is ‘Talk to Me’ about?

Talk to Me is an independent horror film directed by the Philippou brothers (the duo behind the popular Australian YouTube channel, RackaRacka), and straight away the film makes a bold — though not too unfamiliar — statement. Essentially, the film asks of its viewers, “What if you could speak to the dead?” … and the story takes off from there.

The opening scene alone, though it holds little bearing on the plot that follows, is a jarring, masterfully shot piece of horror that jolts you immediately awake and grips you from the get-go, soft-launching you into the film’s overarching (and horrifying) premise. Opening onto a wild house party scene, we first see a bold 20-something searching among the bacchanalian party-goers for his presumed younger brother. The vibe is “off” from the start, and as our unlucky (and only momentary) protagonist eventually breaks down a bedroom door in order to force his brother to get up and leave the party, we’re given our first glimpse of the power the film’s true central plot point holds — I’m talking about the creepy, heavily-graffitied ceramic hand, of course, which becomes this film’s ever-looming and quite frightening catalyst for the events that follow.

Let’s just say, the younger brother isn’t thrilled to see his older brother (or, maybe even in his right mind?), and after being forced to let go of his grip on said ceramic hand, let’s just say he… loses it. But, that’s all we see for now.

We’re then launched into the film’s main plot, which focuses on a high-school age girl named Mia (Sophia Wilde), her best friend Jade (Alexandra Jensen), and Jade’s family. It’s made clear to us that Mia has lost her mother in some tragic way, and has a distant relationship with her guarded-but-well-meaning father, Max. Mia doesn’t stay around her own house much, it seems, as she leaves within the first few minutes of the film to head out and pick up Riley (Joe Bird), Jade’s younger brother, and crash at their house for the evening.

However, Mia and Riley don’t make it to the house without (a ridiculously creepy, grisly and hard to watch) incident — they run into a downed kangaroo on their drive home (they are in Australia, after all), and the poor animal is literally groaning in pain as it takes its last breaths. Mia and Riley debate what to do — should they just keep driving? Do they call the SCPA? Do they put it out of its misery?

They decide “putting the poor creature out of its misery” would be the best (if not the most difficult) course of action, and Mia attempts to gain the speed and nerve to finish the animal off by running over it with her own car. However, she stops just short of doing so, goes around, and leaves the dying animal just as they found it — lying on the ground, suffering. Sheesh.

As if this scene wasn’t hard enough to watch on its own, it’s very clearly a portent of what’s to come in the film’s second and third acts, which go completely off the chain. Trust me.

Once Mia and Riley arrive at Riley and Jade’s family home, they convince Jade to sneak out with them for a house party (which also features a fun, surprising run-in between the teens and Lord of the Rings alum Miranda Otto, guest-starring as Susan, Jade and Riley’s mother). They’re not headed to just any house party, though — this is a house party of a friend of a friend who they see on Snapchat playing with (you guessed it!) the creepy ceramic hand, alleging that it allows those in its possession to literally talk to the dead. (Or, well, be possessed by the dead for 90-seconds or so, before everyone gets too creeped out and the ‘ritual’ is stopped.)

If you haven’t figured out what is likely to come to pass when you put a grieving teenager, the possibility of life after death, and a super creepy ceramic hand that induces exorcist-like seance rituals… then this film may not be for you. But, if you’re intrigued by the premise (and, horror fans, you should be!), then you must watch this film in its entirety before I give it all away here.

Why is ‘Talk to Me’ such a great horror film?

Oh, where do I even begin? From the directors’ choices in score (to mix in modern hip-hop with some tactical “scare” scoring), to their tactical use of building tension and the ages-old (but gold) unreliable narrator trope, this film has it all for any serious horror fan. However, the film is perhaps the most impressive in its thematic scope. Let me explain —

Though the film only runs for just over 90 minutes, it packs in a lot in terms of allegorical significance and thematic gravitas. For one, the way it turns the typical teenage “party” trope onto its head in such a unique and horrifying way is astounding — the “I’ll try anything once” attitude of teenagers is a cautionary tale usually saved for after-school specials, but this takes it to the N-th degree (and then reaches beyond that, directly into your soul — no pun intended).

On the other hand, the film relies on classic horror tropes and doesn’t try to rewrite the formula for what makes a good supernatural horror film so effective, working with something all-new yet all-too-familiar all at once, and somehow leveraging (and elevating) its lofty atmosphere to create something truly unique and brilliant, and just… again, you just have to watch this film.

Seriously. Go watch it. You’ll thank me later (or maybe you won’t, if you have nightmares after… who knows?). Happy spooky season, horror fans!

Xoxo,

MM.

As summer gives way to fall (and, like, six planets are in retrograde RN — RIP to us water signs), my mind has been focused on all things Halloween — the spooky, creepy, and mischievous things that make this time of year the most exciting of all.

Speaking of the spooky and creepy, anyone that knows me well knows that vampires and vampire-lore are my absolute favorite part of Halloween. I mean, they’re beautiful, sensual and scary all in one — what’s not to like? Well, there are a few things not to like, actually; the draining, blood-sucking nature of vampires is what makes them so terrifying and unnatural to us mortals, after all. Pair that with the fact that they can’t seem to die, and you’ve got yourself a pretty frightening, iconic horror villain.

All of this is fantasy, of course (although… maybe? Who knows!), but here’s the real scary bit — though “vampires” as we traditionally think of them don’t really exist, “energy vampires” certainly do.

What is an “energy vampire”?

An “energy vampire” is a term that’s been thrown around a lot more recently, used by an array of key figures in pop-psychology, and it refers to someone who “drains your energy, whether intentional or not,” according to Psych Central. Energy vampires = energy suckers, basically.

An energy vampire seems to feed off of making other people uncomfortable, anxious, or irritable. Maybe it makes them feel powerful to do so — maybe they’re just emotionally unstable themselves, and have no choice but to project their insecurities onto everyone else. Whatever the case, energy vampires are no fun to be around, and they can drain your mental and emotional batteries faster than you can say, “Transylvania”.

How to identify energy vampires in your life

This is the hard part. Well, sort of, anyhow — you may feel like someone you love and care about is an energy vampire, which puts you in a tricky position. Maybe you have a co-worker that you can’t avoid those pesky 40-or-so hours a week who drains your energy on a regular basis. Or, maybe your energy is being drained by random folks on the internet (because, wow, are there some unhealed people out there on the World Wide Web!).

Whatever the case, you typically know an energy vampire when they make you feel uncomfortable, anxious, or drained every time you interact with them.

How to stop energy vampires from “draining” you

Though not all energy vampires look as obvious as What We Do in The Shadows’ Colin Robinson, they’re easy to spot, but a little more difficult to weed out.

Next time you find yourself dealing with an energy vampire, don’t go straight for the garlic — try these tips instead:

• Assert your boundaries — It’s okay to walk away, or use assertive communication to stand strong and firm while protecting your boundaries. The word “no” or the ability to walk away are powerful tools in your arsenal against energy vampires, so use them.

• Ask for space — It’s not a bad idea to talk to the energy vampire directly, or someone related to the situation, and ask for some space. You can let the energy vampire know you need some time to decompress, or ask a trusted friend or colleague close to the situation not to force you into situations where you’ll be dealing with the person that drains you so often.

• Speak up — If the toxic behavior continues (despite these strategies being employed), it’s truly okay to speak up for yourself; to let the energy vampire in question know that you will not engage with them any more if they cannot respect your space, your needs, and your emotional wellbeing. Sometimes, it’s best to love certain folks from a distance, and that’s perfectly acceptable.

So, do you think you have an energy vampire in your life? How will you keep them at bay moving forward? Let’s discuss —

Xoxo,

MM.

To be very frank, my life has been an absolute sh!tshow lately. From unexpected toxicity appearing in the most surprising of places, to a major shift in my daily routine and career, to everything-the-hell-else-going-on-in-the-world, I have felt increasingly defeated.

I’m a soft person at the core. Sure, I can stand up for myself and for what I believe in when the time calls for it — but I’m not a fighter by nature. It’s just not who I am. And, unfortunately for me, that sometimes means it’s hard for me to navigate such a hardened world.

At times I think, “I need to toughen up,” but I’m not sure that’s really the case. Perhaps, the world just needs to lighten up, and perhaps I’m perfectly happy being a soft person in an ever-hardening world. Let me explain —

Why I choose to remain soft, even when the world is hard

In changing my nature, I’d be allowing the world to win. I’d be giving up an essential part of myself that has aided me in so many ways; my “softness” has made me more vulnerable and empathetic, which has helped me build relationships; my softness has allowed me the time and space to comfort others in need, when they’ve needed me, without fear or hesitation; my softness has enabled me to create art, poetry, and connect more deeply with the creations I also, in turn, admire.

Perhaps being soft isn’t a bad thing. The world is hard, yes — lately I’ve had more than my fair share of people knocking me down and dragging me through the mud, to be honest — but that doesn’t mean I have to become hard, too.

If you’re a softer person — if you love the quiet moments of repose, those emotional, late night conversations, and the little glimmers that make life beautiful — please don’t change yourself to “fit in”. You’re not broken. You’re not alone. You’re not a coward. Being a soft person in this cruel world takes more courage than you give yourself credit for, trust me, and your softness is part of what makes you uniquely YOU.

Xoxo,

MM.

Recently, I wrote about the alien buzz going on in pop culture and the media, and what these “aliens” can teach us about self-care. It seems like Beyoncé, the Queen Bee herself, was ahead of the curve on this topic, penning the song “ALIEN SUPERSTAR” last summer and featuring it on her groundbreaking EDM meets Pop-RnB album, ‘Renaissance”.

I’ve been listening to this song a lot lately, and let me tell ya’— Beyoncé has it all figured out when it comes to living life as your most confident, authentic self.

What do I mean by that, and what does any of this have to do with the absolute banger of track “ALIEN SUPERSTAR”? Let me explain—

You’re “one of one”

The first lyrics Queen Bee sings (over a dance-pop beat that’s full of pizazz, in her signature sultry tone) are these words— “I’m one of one. I’m number one. I’m the only one.”

What can we draw from that? Well, pretty much everything. The foundation from which we build our life and our identity should be informed by this essential truth— there is only one “us”. You’re the only “you” that has ever, or will ever, exist— and that is your super power.

Not everyone is going to like you. Leave the people who are committed to misunderstanding you behind. You are you; you were born for a divine purpose; you are the only one that can be uniquely you. And in the grand scheme of a billions-of-years-old universe, and amongst the billions of genetic combinations that have ever or could ever exist, somehow, YOU are here. Isn’t that amazing? Know it. Internalize it. Use it. That comes first.

“Unique, that’s what you are”

To that point, and as the first verse continues, Beyoncé offers up another reminder that you’re unique. She sings, “Unique— it’s what you are. Stilettos kicking vintage crystal off the bar.”

Queen Bee’s signature flair is what makes her the iconic global superstar she is— and she’s letting you know that you, and your set of unique traits and abilities, makes you just as iconic.

Don’t believe me? Think about it this way— have you ever met someone that’s exactly like you, in every way? Who can do the things you can do, who’s experienced the things you’ve lived through? No, you have not. Perhaps you’ve come close, but you’re still the only one bringing your unique talents and set of circumstances to the table. Again, I say— USE IT. Own it. And, as Beyoncé would, flaunt it.

“Fire beneath your feet, music when you speak”

After the melodic-yet-punchy chorus loops a couple times, Beyoncé croons what I believe is the most powerful sentiment on the track— “Category— bad bitch.”

She follows this up with the lyrics, “Fire beneath your feet, music when you speak, you’re so unique,” and that, again, drives the point home. You can do anything you set your mind to, and no one on this planet can do it like you could— and THAT is what makes you, and me, and all of us a true alien superstar.

So, what’s your super power? What makes you, you? Let’s discuss,

Xoxo,

MM