Navigating Triggers (and Finding the ‘Glimmers’)
(Photo by D.onniie)
TW: This article deals with the topics of trauma, triggers, and PTSD.
Before Mental Health Awareness Month comes to an end, I felt compelled (after an intense six-or-so months of confronting some of my deepest and most intense ‘triggers’ through therapy) to share some of my personal experience when it comes to dealing with trauma.
Trauma is a really sensitive subject, and I’m no mental health professional (of course), but I am someone who has lived with OCD, chronic depression and GAD plus complex trauma for many, many years — and it’s a lifelong struggle.
However, it is manageable, there is hope, and you’re not alone if you’re dealing with the daily onslaught of ‘triggers’ that seem to be all around us. So, how do you cope when you can’t avoid a trigger? How do you show up every day and remind yourself life is also full of ‘glimmers’? Let’s dive in —
What is a ‘trigger’?
The best definition I could find of a ‘trigger’ comes from UPMC HealthBeat, which states that a ‘trauma trigger’ is, “(…) things that remind (you) of the original trauma. These reminders are called trauma triggers, and they can be a common issue for people living with unhealed trauma.”
For example, let’s say you hear a song on the radio that was playing when your particular traumatic event occurred. Or, perhaps you drive past the place where an accident that left you traumatized took place. (These are just a couple examples, but you get the idea.) You may suddenly begin, even subconsciously, to feel ‘fight or flight’ sensations, such as —
A ‘tight’ feeling in your chest
Sweating, shaking, or flushing
Nausea, headaches
Pins and needles (especially in your extremities)
Extreme hot or cold feelings — temperature dysregulation
… and many, many more. On one hand, it’s hard to believe that our mental state can affect that many aspects of our physical body — but on the other hand, it makes a lot of sense.
A trigger is anything that reminds you of a time in which you felt unsafe or out of control, when a trauma occurred and you couldn’t ‘get away’ from it. Thus, the ‘fight or flight’ bodily reactions kick in, and you once again feel unsafe and ultimately not ‘at home’ in your own body. And trust me when I say — it is the worst.
How to cope with being triggered
One strategy for coping with triggers is avoiding them in the first place – but we live in a big, wild world, and that’s not always possible (nor realistic), unfortunately.
So, what do you do when you can’t avoid a trigger? When you’re at work in the middle of the day, and can’t take the day off? When you’re being a caregiver or someone in charge of a child or other person and you can’t take even a moment to yourself? Well, hopefully you can take some time for yourself to honor and respect those big, and often frightening feelings (because they are absolutely valid), but when you need to quickly self-regulate and calm down your PNS (“parasympathetic nervous system,” the part of our anatomy that controls such bodily reactions), I recommend these tips that have helped me get through tough times:
Tapping. This trauma tapping technique was developed specifically for trauma survivors, and can be very effective in managing trauma quickly and in the moment.
Box breathing. Another easy-to-learn and use method, box breathing is a simple breathing technique that can aid in regaining control of your breath and calming your nervous sytem.
Affirmations. Sometimes, simply saying to yourself (out loud or silently, in your mind) affirmations such as ‘I am safe,’ or ‘I am loved,’ on repeat can create a sense of calm. The repetition and encouraging sentiment of the phrases can help you settle into a more regulated state of mind.
Leaning on a trusted contact/support person. This is my personal favorite, because I find much comfort in leaning into the love in my life. Call a friend or other trusted contact when everything feels like too much to bare — simply vocalizing how you’re feeling to a trusted contact can take a lot of the pressure off and remind you that you aren’t alone in this fight.
Triggers aren’t always avoidable, but they don’t have to entirely disarm us when we brush up against them.
What is a ‘glimmer’?
Now that we got the more difficult bit out in the open, let’s shift gears. What about those little moments, or smells, or sounds, or whatever they may be that make you feel inexplicably good? That fresh-vanilla scent you catch from the spring air sometimes that reminds you of a positive childhood memory; the stillness and calm you feel when your beloved furry-friends sleep in your lap; the sunshine on your skin that makes you feel warm from the outside in? Those, my friends, are ‘glimmers,’ and we can learn to tune into them and notice them more and more in the present moment, every day.
Noticing the ‘glimmers’ every day
A large part of learning to notice the ‘glimmers’ involves remembering to be present — you can’t notice something as easily when you’re preoccupied or distracted and your mind is somewhere else.
For example, what if you took a moment to step outside today, and just feel the air on your skin? What if you took a second to appreciate the flowers growing in the flowerbed outside of your work place, and notice their various shades and hues? What if you allowed yourself to take even five minutes to listen to a favorite song in between the mad rush of today’s tasks? All of these things and so many more can be ‘glimmers,’ little bits of shining light we find in the present moment, that remind us that life is wondrous, and beautiful, and it’s not so extraordinary to think so.
Overall, I’m a firm believer that, just by surviving your trauma and still being here, you are so brave. You can and you will heal — it just takes time. But, all the while, we can learn to ride the waves; embrace the ‘glimmers,’ cope with the ‘triggers,’ and never judge ourselves for the times we simply did what we had to do in order to survive.
You’re not alone, and if you ever need a safe-space to sound off, I’m an email away.
Xoxo,
MM.