It’s Okay to Say “No” to Friends and Family that Won’t Get Vaccinated

This one is going to be controversial.

There’s no greater display of obnoxious privilege than refusing (unless you have a legitimate medical reason) a free, accessible vaccine during a pandemic, in a country that has plenty of them, while others around the world would give their freakin’ left arm for the privilege.

Protecting yourself— and thus, protecting others— from COVID-19 is a privilege all Americans, as of now, over 12 years of age can enjoy. Even if you get a rare, breakthrough COVID-19 case when fully vaccinated you almost certainly won’t become critically ill or die— a privilege the unvaccinated cannot (or rather, will not) claim at this stage. The virus is tearing through mainly unvaccinated people at an alarming rate in the US and around the globe (thanks, Delta Variant eye roll), and there are billions of people around the globe who would give anything to be protected from this deadly disease.

Now, shift back to America, where everyone over 12 has the ability to get the vaccine, for free, but for some reason some just… won’t.

Mind blowing. A mind blowing, obnoxious display of American privilege at its finest, the unvaccinated are ignoring the science and doubling-down in their wrongness… and it gets worse. The unvaccinated are multiple times more likely than the vaccinated to spread COVID-19 (particularly the Delta Variant) to others, and are creating dangerous, super-clusters of infection that allow the virus to further replicate itself and even worse— potentially mutate again, and again, and again.

All that said, I recently made a decision that was a bit controversial: Andrew and I threw a housewarming party in our new apartment (to celebrate our return to Philly), but we only invited fully vaccinated people to attend. And guess what? I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t feel guilty or “mean”, and you shouldn’t, either, if you make the choice to un-invite anti-vaxx folks from your social functions. Let me explain—

You have the right to protect yourself from those who don’t want to protect themselves or others

Bottom line? That ^^^. You have the right to stand your ground when it comes to protecting yourself, your family, your friends and your health. Though I trust the power of my vaccine and know that breakthrough COVID-19 cases in the fully vaccinated remain rare, this pandemic has become a straight-up pandemic of the unvaccinated and I refuse to coddle those who refuse the vaccine for illegitimate reasons. The science is out there (that they’re both safe and effective), and the science is clear when it comes to the vaccine’s ability to cut transmission and prevent symptomatic infection so… why allow others into your space if they’re refusing to protect themselves and those around them?

If I, a vaccinated person, spread COVID-19 (which remains rare but can happen) to an unvaccinated person, they could become ill and even worse, potentially become severely ill and, God forbid, die. Why would I want to take that risk? Someone refusing to protect themselves is one thing, but making me and my guests directly responsible for their health and wellbeing (when we’ve all taken the responsible steps to take care of our own health and wellbeing) is simply selfish on the un-vaccinated person’s part. At this stage, it is. And I’m not sorry.

It’s not your “right” to spread dangerous diseases unchecked throughout your community. It’s not your “right” to come to my house, wherein everyone has decided to protect themselves, and potentially become ill and place that guilt/blame/shame on me. Because, guess what? If you choose to remain unvaccinated for selfish reasons (because some legit, medical reasons do apply), I can choose to exclude you from in-person events.

Long story short: you have the right to say “no” to hanging out with unvaccinated individuals if you believe they pose a threat to you or to themselves, and you don’t have to explain yourself beyond that. You aren’t being “mean”, or “nit-picking”— you are choosing to protect yourself, your loved ones, and ultimately, the selfish unvaccinated person who has left themselves hyper-susceptible to a deadly pathogen during a pandemic. Period.

I know many won’t agree with this, but my point stands— you can love people from a distance when they aren’t being responsible, and that’s okay. You don’t need to feel bad about it and… I know I sure don’t.

Info on safety and efficacy of vaccines here, how to sign up, and more: https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/covid-19/index.html

Xoxo, MM.