Is “Friendship Anxiety” a Thing? (And What to do About it)

Recently, USA Today published a hot-take article about “friendship anxiety.” USA Today notes that, although friendships don’t usually have all the intricate emotional complexities romantic partnerships typically have, they still require work, commitment, understanding and empathy, and– as such– can cause anxiety.

I have a hot-take of my own about this, and it goes a little something like this: if someone gives you anxiety, they might not actually be your friend. 

Does that sound harsh? Maybe it is. But let me explain why, even if friendship anxiety is a thing, you may need to reexamine your friendships if you’re experiencing it on the regular–

What to do if you’re experiencing friendship anxiety: Re-evaluate

Sure, some of us (like myself) have generalized or social anxiety that can make us anxious about, well, almost anything– however, if you’re getting anxious right before seeing or speaking to a specific person… is that person really your friend? 

For example, if you’re around a group of people who are supposed to be your “friends,” but they’re always violating your boundaries, making jokes at your expense (the kind that actually hurt or embarrass you), or expecting you to overextend yourself for them when they wouldn’t do the same… are they your friends, really? 

Not everyone you know or spend time with is your friend. Some people are just acquaintances. Some people are energetic vampires (seriously), and may be better loved from a distance. And guess what? That’s okay!

Getting out of a toxic friendship: It’s all about mutual respect

If you have identified a toxic friendship or relationship in your life– be it with friends, a romantic partner, or family member– you don’t have to put up with it forever. You have a right to express that you expect mutual respect from a human being you’ve poured your time and energy into. Period.

We’re all human, and if someone is treating you like garbage you don’t have to stand for it. You have the right to walk away– to ask for mutual respect, to set boundaries, and to explain that if they don’t want to give you that, you’ll have to simply walk away. 

Sure, it’s easier said than done– but you know what’s harder? Being surrounded by people who constantly mistreat you and drain your energy.

Final thoughts: Be good to people, and be with people who are good to you, too

Essentially, sometimes you may get anxiety– but if a specific person seems to be causing your anxiety, it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship with them. It’s well within your right to do so, and don’t let them tell you any differently. 

So, what do you think? Is “friendship anxiety” a real thing? Is it worth it?

Let’s discuss,

Xoxo,

MM.