Manifesting Your Best Life: Part One, Making Space for the Good and Saying “No” to What Doesn’t Serve You

(Disclaimer: life throws us all curveballs and many of us have circumstances outside of our control. It is a privilege to have many things and access to many choices; I acknowledge and accept that truth entirely. This post will focus more on things we can control, like mindset and boundaries, and does not at all ignore nor seek to minimize the struggles many of us genuinely face.)

This one may be controversial, but as the self-proclaimed queen of boundary setting I’m feeling this post in my soul today.

Recently, I told a friend I feel like I’m lately living my best life ever— I wake up happy every morning, my OCD and chronic depression being better regulated than ever before, and I’m genuinely excited each day about my career path, the little family I’ve built (and am building in the future), my friends, my home, my lifestyle… things are just generally good right now, and I feel like the seeds I’ve been sowing for a long time are finally coming to harvest.

Things are pretty great right now, all in all. Getting here, though? That part wasn’t always easy. Tons of groundwork had to be laid in order for me to get to where I am now (and to work toward continuing to grow, strive and learn even more each day), and as I reflect on some of the more difficult work that had to be done to get here I thought I’d share some of my experience, tips and tricks on getting to your “best life” (I.e, making time and space for you despite certain circumstances) even if it takes time, and even when life throws you some curveballs. Let’s dive in—

Making time and space for YOU and learning the magic word, “no”

When I allowed others to run my life (allowing judgement from others to dictate how I dressed, or what I posted on social media, or allowing others to sap all of my time and energy because I was too afraid to say “no”, etc.) I was, frankly, miserable. One of the first and most important lessons I learned in my adult life was how to make space for ME, and how to say “no” to others when I needed to. 

Let me explain— if I continued to allow people to sap all my time (agreeing to things I don’t want to do, taking time out of my day to do things I really didn’t have time for, etc.) I never would’ve had time to invest in myself and my career. I never would’ve had time to start this blog, or do anything for myself if I’d never learned how to say “no” to taking on that extra task at work I truly didn’t have time for, or if I’d never learned to say “no” to someone who was using my time in a disrespectful way. I discuss this in other posts, but flexing this “no” muscle is actually an exercise in boundary setting, which can do wonders for your life if you begin practicing and implementing these techniques over time.

And, more on boundaries: making space for YOU and protecting your peace in order to maintain emotional equilibrium and energy will require some boundary setting. It just does. A common cliché I use quite often, “you can’t pour from an empty cup” is so beyond true. You have to learn to set boundaries, assert them, and protect your time, your peace and your emotions if you ever want to get to a place where you feel like you’re truly thriving and not just surviving.

By making just a few more minutes a day for me I’ve been able to do big things over time. You can, too— it may seem impossible (we don’t all have the luxury of taking “time off”), but even finding a few minutes a day here and there to work toward a goal (fitness, education, career, etc.) will escalate over time and become more than just a few minutes in the end. Those ten minutes a day you spend investing in you could lead to something huge— practicing that instrument you put down, doing a ten minute sketch in your art notebook, writing a ten minute short story, practicing learning another language, doing yoga videos at home— and even ten minutes a day that you reserve for YOU can lead to big things overall.

So, what boundaries can you set today and implement in 2022? What can you make time and space for today that will get you closer to your goals 5 years from now? Even a few minutes a day can make a big difference, and, after all, you deserve time for YOU, even if it’s just spent relaxing and winding down to protect and nourish your mental health.

Part two coming soon.

Xoxo, MM.