Getting the Bag (And Staying in Your Lane)

Oof. Since COVID-19 threw the world for a loop, we’ve all had to readjust our goals and perhaps our expectations, and mine became a lot more laser-focused when I realized (as I always should’ve) that life is short and very, very uncertain.

That said, becoming more laser-focused has resulted in me treating my career more like a business, my brand more like a lifestyle, and my friends more like family. Part of becoming an adult (and being a young adult on the precipice of doing the “big life things” during a global pandemic) has taught me to stay focused, realign, and, un-ironically, get the bag and stay in my lane. Let me explain—

Achieving your goals (and staying out of your own way)

Living the life you deserve is more important now than ever before.

When COVID-19 hit, I realized that I didn’t have time to sit around and wait for things to happen for or to me. Life is all about action, and, on the other side of the coin, inaction, too. If I have the goal to build my brand (with this website), advance my career, and purchase a home in the next five years with my husband, I can’t just sit around and wait for that to happen for me. I have to make it happen.

That seems obvious, right? Well, sort of. Working the days away at a job I enjoyed was great for the last three years, but realizing I had no opportunity for upward mobility (and, thus, needed to get back out there and re-start the old “job search”, even though I was contently employed) was a huge wake-up call. I loved my job, so why shake things up, right? Well, because I knew what I wanted in the future, and, though I was happy at my job for the last three years, I knew it just wasn’t going to get me there.

So, what did I do? I put myself back out there. I updated my resume, made network connections, fired up the old LinkedIn profile, and began a job search in earnest. I was in the fortunate position of being employed already (so I was able to take my sweet time when it came to job searching), but I became hyper-specific with jobs I applied for. I wasn’t going for just anything. I was going for upward mobility, an increase in pay, and real, tangible career advancement (instead of just keeping with the status quo and continuing to happily “muddle along”, as they say).

Putting myself back out into the job market after three years of being out of it (and not looking for other opportunities at all) was scary, and it was a tough decision to make to leave what I’d known and loved for so long to move on to something new and more challenging— but it’s been so worth it.

That said, a large part of advancing my career was learning to stay out of my own way. By that, I mean facing my own fears and overcoming trepidation by just doing the dang thing, and never settling for less than what I sincerely believed I deserved.

So much of all of our lives is driven by what we think we deserve (in our career, our relationships, etc.), and we aren’t always on the mark with that, are we? I think we all tend to underestimate ourselves and settle when we shouldn’t— when we should go for that job we may not be 100% qualified for (but could learn as a challenge or “stretch” opportunity), or when we should look for a life partner that compliments the lifestyle we want (instead of settling for the high-school boyfriend you’ve honestly outgrown), etc.

Had I not met Andrew and dove into a relationship with him (even when I was afraid to get back into the dating world), my life would’ve been vastly different. Had I settled for someone else, I wouldn’t be in the happy, healthy, functional and, truly, joyful relationship I’m in today. Had I let fear rule my life, I never would’ve left my hometown and grown my career, business and brand in Philadelphia— a city I now love.

Had I settled for anything less than I deserved, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Period.

All that said— what are you settling for, and what do you deserve? Life is short, uncertain, and can be incredibly uneventful if we let it be. Sometimes you have to take the leap— as cliché as that sounds— and see where you land.

Xoxo, MM.