Do You Have “Energy Vampires” in Your Life?
As summer gives way to fall (and, like, six planets are in retrograde RN — RIP to us water signs), my mind has been focused on all things Halloween — the spooky, creepy, and mischievous things that make this time of year the most exciting of all.
Speaking of the spooky and creepy, anyone that knows me well knows that vampires and vampire-lore are my absolute favorite part of Halloween. I mean, they’re beautiful, sensual and scary all in one — what’s not to like? Well, there are a few things not to like, actually; the draining, blood-sucking nature of vampires is what makes them so terrifying and unnatural to us mortals, after all. Pair that with the fact that they can’t seem to die, and you’ve got yourself a pretty frightening, iconic horror villain.
All of this is fantasy, of course (although… maybe? Who knows!), but here’s the real scary bit — though “vampires” as we traditionally think of them don’t really exist, “energy vampires” certainly do.
What is an “energy vampire”?
An “energy vampire” is a term that’s been thrown around a lot more recently, used by an array of key figures in pop-psychology, and it refers to someone who “drains your energy, whether intentional or not,” according to Psych Central. Energy vampires = energy suckers, basically.
An energy vampire seems to feed off of making other people uncomfortable, anxious, or irritable. Maybe it makes them feel powerful to do so — maybe they’re just emotionally unstable themselves, and have no choice but to project their insecurities onto everyone else. Whatever the case, energy vampires are no fun to be around, and they can drain your mental and emotional batteries faster than you can say, “Transylvania”.
How to identify energy vampires in your life
This is the hard part. Well, sort of, anyhow — you may feel like someone you love and care about is an energy vampire, which puts you in a tricky position. Maybe you have a co-worker that you can’t avoid those pesky 40-or-so hours a week who drains your energy on a regular basis. Or, maybe your energy is being drained by random folks on the internet (because, wow, are there some unhealed people out there on the World Wide Web!).
Whatever the case, you typically know an energy vampire when they make you feel uncomfortable, anxious, or drained every time you interact with them.
How to stop energy vampires from “draining” you
Though not all energy vampires look as obvious as What We Do in The Shadows’ Colin Robinson, they’re easy to spot, but a little more difficult to weed out.
Next time you find yourself dealing with an energy vampire, don’t go straight for the garlic — try these tips instead:
Assert your boundaries — It’s okay to walk away, or use assertive communication to stand strong and firm while protecting your boundaries. The word “no” or the ability to walk away are powerful tools in your arsenal against energy vampires, so use them.
Ask for space — It’s not a bad idea to talk to the energy vampire directly, or someone related to the situation, and ask for some space. You can let the energy vampire know you need some time to decompress, or ask a trusted friend or colleague close to the situation not to force you into situations where you’ll be dealing with the person that drains you so often.
Speak up — If the toxic behavior continues (despite these strategies being employed), it’s truly okay to speak up for yourself; to let the energy vampire in question know that you will not engage with them any more if they cannot respect your space, your needs, and your emotional wellbeing. Sometimes, it’s best to love certain folks from a distance, and that’s perfectly acceptable.
So, do you think you have an energy vampire in your life? How will you keep them at bay moving forward? Let’s discuss —
Xoxo,
MM.
