Adopting a (Traumatized) Shelter Dog, and Integrating Her into Our Family
You’ve likely heard the phrase “adopt, don’t shop.” The phrase is, of course, referencing the trend of puppy-mill puppies being purchased (usually from unethical breeders) rather than homeless, adoptable dogs being adopted out of shelters.
Andrew and I (well, I) had been looking for a dog for years. We’d been scouring shelters in WV, PA, and online, but nothing felt quite right. We never felt quite ready; until one day, I saw her.
“Silver. 35 Lbs. 1 Year Old. Housebroken. Available for Adoption in Malvern, PA.”
Our beautiful girl, perched on her mawmaw’s porch during a visit to West Virginia!
She fit every parameter we’d set. Medium-sized but not too small, young but outgrowing the “puppy” phase, housebroken… it almost seemed too good to be true. However, after going through the application process online and finally meeting Silver in person, we realized it was true. She was the dog for us, and she came home with us after the first meeting. We just couldn’t let her go. She was meant to be a part of our family, and even Andrew thought so.
So, Silver came home with us. Silver also came home with a laundry-list of emotional issues, which are not uncommon when dealing with shelter dogs. Although we weren’t 100% prepared for Silver’s emotional work (and we’re still working out the kinks to this day— live and learn!), we’ve found the best ways to make her feel safe, supported, and fully integrated into our family. And, pro-tip, it starts with training and veterinary help— don’t just go it alone.
Training a shelter dog: identifying emotional needs, and figuring out how to solve them
As soon as Silver got to our apartment, it became obvious that she had some serious trust issues. She allowed us to pat her head within a few days, but if a strangers hand wandered too close to her, she would cower in fear. Being left alone, even for a few seconds, made her bark, howl, and whine. Touching her bowl with food in it? A complete no-no, which she’d let you know immediately with a low, menacing “warning growl.” (And we didn’t even try to introduce her to the cat after their first accident meeting, which turned into a total chase fest.)
The prettiest girl in the dog park!
Andrew and I were totally lost in those first few days, and to be honest, the first couple weeks. The shelter had told us to expect odd behaviors for up to six weeks, maybe even three months, but we didn’t know what to expect until we saw it in full-force in Silver. Silver still has issues we’re working through (with Canine Coaching Services LLC. in Charleston, WV), but here’s how we dealt with them early on, and how we got through those first couple long, exhausting, and worrying weeks:
Consulting with two professional trainers.
One consultation was held in person, in our home. A trainer came to visit Silver in our home and identified her behaviors, helping to give context to her bizarre, erratic actions.
Another consultation was held over the phone, with a different *certified trainer that the shelter pointed us to for emotional support. I.e, this trainer was very kind in reminding us that she’s a damaged dog, but not a lost cause (and we aren’t just bad pet-parents).
Consulting with a veterinary professional.
Silver, due to persistent nervous behaviors like compulsive licking, shaking, and separation anxiety, was prescribed Prozac. Prozac is safe for dogs, and, like in humans, aids in anxiety relief.
Staying consistent, and showing her tons of love.
Patterns, patterns, patterns. Dogs love consistency, patterns, and structure. A set bed-time (when Silver has to go lay down in the crate) is a part of our routine. A set feeding time, separate from other animals in the house, is a part of our routine. Walking around the same times every day? Yep, that’s a part of our routine. Like a toddler, dogs thrive on predictability. Anxious dogs like Silver especially appreciate knowing what’s coming next, and knowing that they’re going to be kept safe and provided for day over day.
With lots of love, routine, and bonding, Silver trusts Andrew and I now more than ever. She’s the most lovable and loyal dog I’ve ever owned (as in: no other dog I’ve ever owned would let me cuddle her all morning, flipped over on her back, while I rub her belly and sip my coffee lazily in bed. She’s a certified cuddle-monster, basically.)
Never, EVER giving up. A dog is a life-long investment. For the duration of the life of the animal you’ve committed to adopting, you are responsible for them. You owe it to them to try your best to work with them and provide resources to allow them to live their best possible life— it’s literally what you signed up for.
All of the above being said, I think it’s fair to add— do not get a dog unless you are emotionally and financially ready for anything. My intention is not to be exclusionary by any means, but proactive; dogs are a large expense. Training, veterinary attention, food, toys, and grooming all cost money. Sometimes, a lot of money. If your dog has emotional issues (like Silver) and requires months of intense behavioral modification training, then it takes a lot of money. Trust me. It is not something to take lightly, especially if you’re considering a shelter dog, but it is 100% worth it if you’re ready.
Silver is a joy. From a sick, stray dog that came from Columbia, SC animal control, to the foster network in Malvern, PA, to our home, she’s come a long way from where she’s been. She makes my grayest days brighter, whether with her goofy smile or reassuring snuggles, every single time. Silver was and is worth every bit of effort we’ve poured in for the last six months, and I’m so excited to see how much farther she goes in her journey with our family over the years to come.
My favorite, hilarious photo of our silly girl. She has a HUGE personality and now that she reveals it to us freely, we’re even more in love!
xoxo, MM.
*Disclaimer: All trainers involved with Silver are positive-reinforcement based. We do not use negative-reinforcement or any form of shock training with Silver.