You’ve likely heard the phrase “adopt, don’t shop.” The phrase is, of course, referencing the trend of puppy-mill puppies being purchased (usually from unethical breeders) rather than homeless, adoptable dogs being adopted out of shelters.

Andrew and I (well, I) had been looking for a dog for years. We’d been scouring shelters in WV, PA, and online, but nothing felt quite right. We never felt quite ready; until one day, I saw her.

“Silver. 35 Lbs. 1 Year Old. Housebroken. Available for Adoption in Malvern, PA.”

She fit every parameter we’d set. Medium-sized but not too small, young but outgrowing the “puppy” phase, housebroken… it almost seemed too good to be true. However, after going through the application process online and finally meeting Silver in person, we realized it was true. She was the dog for us, and she came home with us after the first meeting. We just couldn’t let her go. She was meant to be a part of our family, and even Andrew thought so.

So, Silver came home with us. Silver also came home with a laundry-list of emotional issues, which are not uncommon when dealing with shelter dogs. Although we weren’t 100% prepared for Silver’s emotional work (and we’re still working out the kinks to this day— live and learn!), we’ve found the best ways to make her feel safe, supported, and fully integrated into our family. And, pro-tip, it starts with training and veterinary help— don’t just go it alone.

Training a shelter dog: identifying emotional needs, and figuring out how to solve them

As soon as Silver got to our apartment, it became obvious that she had some serious trust issues. She allowed us to pat her head within a few days, but if a strangers hand wandered too close to her, she would cower in fear. Being left alone, even for a few seconds, made her bark, howl, and whine. Touching her bowl with food in it? A complete no-no, which she’d let you know immediately with a low, menacing “warning growl.” (And we didn’t even try to introduce her to the cat after their first accident meeting, which turned into a total chase fest.)

Andrew and I were totally lost in those first few days, and to be honest, the first couple weeks. The shelter had told us to expect odd behaviors for up to six weeks, maybe even three months, but we didn’t know what to expect until we saw it in full-force in Silver. Silver still has issues we’re working through (with Canine Coaching Services LLC. in Charleston, WV), but here’s how we dealt with them early on, and how we got through those first couple long, exhausting, and worrying weeks:

• Consulting with two professional trainers.

  • One consultation was held in person, in our home. A trainer came to visit Silver in our home and identified her behaviors, helping to give context to her bizarre, erratic actions.

  • Another consultation was held over the phone, with a different *certified trainer that the shelter pointed us to for emotional support. I.e, this trainer was very kind in reminding us that she’s a damaged dog, but not a lost cause (and we aren’t just bad pet-parents).

• Consulting with a veterinary professional.

  • Silver, due to persistent nervous behaviors like compulsive licking, shaking, and separation anxiety, was prescribed Prozac. Prozac is safe for dogs, and, like in humans, aids in anxiety relief.

• Staying consistent, and showing her tons of love.

  • Patterns, patterns, patterns. Dogs love consistency, patterns, and structure. A set bed-time (when Silver has to go lay down in the crate) is a part of our routine. A set feeding time, separate from other animals in the house, is a part of our routine. Walking around the same times every day? Yep, that’s a part of our routine. Like a toddler, dogs thrive on predictability. Anxious dogs like Silver especially appreciate knowing what’s coming next, and knowing that they’re going to be kept safe and provided for day over day.

  • With lots of love, routine, and bonding, Silver trusts Andrew and I now more than ever. She’s the most lovable and loyal dog I’ve ever owned (as in: no other dog I’ve ever owned would let me cuddle her all morning, flipped over on her back, while I rub her belly and sip my coffee lazily in bed. She’s a certified cuddle-monster, basically.)

  • Never, EVER giving up. A dog is a life-long investment. For the duration of the life of the animal you’ve committed to adopting, you are responsible for them. You owe it to them to try your best to work with them and provide resources to allow them to live their best possible life— it’s literally what you signed up for.

All of the above being said, I think it’s fair to add— do not get a dog unless you are emotionally and financially ready for anything. My intention is not to be exclusionary by any means, but proactive; dogs are a large expense. Training, veterinary attention, food, toys, and grooming all cost money. Sometimes, a lot of money. If your dog has emotional issues (like Silver) and requires months of intense behavioral modification training, then it takes a lot of money. Trust me. It is not something to take lightly, especially if you’re considering a shelter dog, but it is 100% worth it if you’re ready.

Silver is a joy. From a sick, stray dog that came from Columbia, SC animal control, to the foster network in Malvern, PA, to our home, she’s come a long way from where she’s been. She makes my grayest days brighter, whether with her goofy smile or reassuring snuggles, every single time. Silver was and is worth every bit of effort we’ve poured in for the last six months, and I’m so excited to see how much farther she goes in her journey with our family over the years to come.

xoxo, MM.

*Disclaimer: All trainers involved with Silver are positive-reinforcement based. We do not use negative-reinforcement or any form of shock training with Silver.

Among the most cliche-but-true sayings in the English language is the phrase, “this too shall pass.” However cliche it may be, it is, like I said, true. No matter what we face, there is always an ending. A resolution. A moment where we can look back and say “I survived it.” This too shall pass— but we have to exercise patience and perseverance until then.

Even pandemics come to an end

I’ve been seeing a lot of hopelessness lately around the current COVID-19 pandemic. I’ve felt that way myself at times, the whole “this will never end” downward spiral that sucks you in and holds you down. However, history shows us that even pandemics come to an end.

Take the 1918 flu pandemic, for example— coronaviruses and influenza strains are completely different viruses to be sure, but most infectious diseases follow a similar curve. That curve looks something like smaller, then larger, then smaller again “waves” of infection cresting over a period of 12 to 18 months (essentially, until herd immunity is achieved through max vaccination or through everyone in the susceptible population becoming infected and developing T-cells and antibodies against that particular virus.) The death toll from the 1918 flu pandemic was enormous— nearly fifty million people worldwide— but eventually, it did end. These things, no matter how horrible and senseless, don’t last forever. And that’s what we have to hold on to during times like this.

The COVID-19 pandemic has taken innocent lives and livelihoods by the thousands. It is undeniably one of the greatest tragedies of our lifetime. It is scary. It is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now… but, I promise you (as Dr. Fauci did as well), this will end. Be it through scientific advancements like an effective treatment or vaccine, or through human collaboration in the form of mask-wearing and social distancing (the best-case scenarios, because I don’t want to think about the worst-case ones) this will end. We will see through to the other side of this… and somehow, we will repair and persevere.

It will get better— I promise.

Humans are incredibly resilient. It never fails to amaze me when I see or hear about humans coming together and living, loving, and thriving through even the most terrible situations. Although we shouldn’t have to suffer, and suffering isn’t some badge of honor we “earn” or should use to compare our respective individual struggles, we do have the assurance that eventually all suffering comes to an end— even in horrible, senseless situations like a global pandemic.

This is hard. This isn’t fun. This isn’t okay. But this is happening— and, one day, this will end. All we can decide is what we do until we come through to the other side.

Will we socially distance, wear masks, and (eventually) get vaccinated to protect ourselves and others? Or will we be part of the problem? The choice is ours, because one day this will end, but it’s on us to help one another muddle through until then.

Xoxo, MM.

Hello, world! After a week (plus) off, I’m back on the writing grind and ready to tell you alllllll about the adventures my husband and I had in Utah the last seven days. From flying first class for the first time (for hella cheap— more tips on that later) to staying near Kylie Jenner while she also vacationed in the desert (!!) to glamping, camping, and more… we did it all in beautiful Utah. Let’s dive in:

Flying First Class (for Cheap!)

Our trip started with some COVID-19 considerations. Where could we go and still avoid crowds and maintain social distancing, and how could we get there as safely as possible, putting ourselves and others at little risk? Andrew, having been to Utah before, initially suggested it. It took little convincing after showing me only a few photos of how beautiful and serene the area was, so I was in— but, the question of getting there safely remained. 

Andrew, always thinking on his feet and being the finance guy, had a solution; why not fly as cheaply as possible out of the smallest airports we could find, in counties with the fewest COVID-19 cases? Moreover… why not fly first class (if we could find a deal on seats)? Thus, the search began, and lo and behold— we found actual *cheap* first class tickets with American Airlines. 

Flight prices having dropped already helped a bit, but what really assisted Andrew and I on our quest to budget a first class flight for two was the AA Advantage credit card. Andrew has immaculate credit (thanks to being smart about credit cards, student loans and car payments as a teen + onward), so after applying and receiving the card he was given a sign-up bonus of thousands of free airline miles with American. That said, he found the perfect, small flight to the tiny regional airport of Grand Junction, Colorado, just over an hour outside of Moab, Utah… and the rest is history.

Arriving in Moab

Flying first class for the first time was pretty neat, even during a pandemic. With our masks, Lysol wipes and hand sanitizer in tow, we sipped mimosas (carefully) on the small plane as we headed toward Colorado. 

Having only been to California and Nevada out west before, I was super eager to see (some of) Colorado and (a lot of) Utah. Utah in particular is home to a multitude of National and State Parks, each unique in their beautiful terrain and hiking, biking, and rafting activities. Once we arrived in Colorado, hopped in the (Lysol-wiped) rental car and arrived in Moab, I knew I was in for a treat.

The earth all around Moab is red and scorched, but in a way that’s strikingly beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that Kylie Jenner was also vacationing there during our stay!

We checked into a very private, brand-new hotel called Hoodoo Moab. (Hoodoo being the name for the strange rock formations that appear across much of Utah’s desert terrain.) Only staying in a hotel for two nights before the glamping-to-camping tour began, my husband and I knew we needed to soak in every second of the beautiful scenery, *real* showers, and refreshing pool at our disposal between National Park visits all around the Moab area. 

Although the hotel was a wonderful oasis in the desert wilderness that is Moab, it was far from the main attraction there— that, of course, was Arches and Canyonlands National Parks. Specifically, the Delicate Arch within Arches and the HUGE, rocky canyons that you can drive straight into (very, very carefully!) in Canyonlands. Rearing to go and backpacks (and TONS of water) in tow, we set out to hike the precarious path to Delicate Arch the day we arrived. Shew, was THAT a challenge.

About three miles in length round-trip, one wouldn’t think the Delicate Arch hike would be as difficult as it is. Between walking straight uphill on slick rock and fighting the 105 degree heat and blistering sun the entire time, we ended up drinking a total of 2.5 liters of water on the Delicate Arch walk alone. Was it worth it? Hell. Yes. Was it hard? Pretty hard, actually, yeah. But would I do it again? Yes, I would!

Luckily, the rest of our time in Moab entailed driving more of Arches National Park (thank God for cars!) and taking *much* simpler hikes through Canyonlands. It’s hard to describe how beautiful everything was, including our boutique hotel stay and the gorgeous desert oasis pool and bar there, but you can check out my Instagram for more photos that attempt to do it some justice.

Next Stop: Glamping in Zion 

After a couple days of hiking and becoming what seemed like professional sightseers in Moab, Andrew and I headed out toward Zion National Park. Stopping to (safely) see family friends in St. George, Andrew and I made it to Zion pretty late on that Monday night, checking in to our first-ever “glamping” (as in: glamorous camping) experience at Under Canvas Zion just seconds outside of Zion National Park. We fell asleep pretty quickly in the incredible feeling king-sized bed that night, but when we woke up, the full luxurious feel of the glamping area really set in.

We awoke to a safari-style canvas tent with hardwood floors and a nice sized porch, a working toilet, sink and shower, a king-sized bed, and cooling misters fighting off the Southern Utah heat. I was in awe. This (pretty reasonably priced) tent was completely camping yet completely comfortable, offering all the conveniences of a hotel while still allowing visitors to stay extremely socially distanced in their own tent in the beautiful, wild Zion Canyon Valley. I was really impressed, to say the least.

Also offering breakfast, dinner and bar services in the “main” tent (which acted as a lobby and food take-out station), Under Canvas Zion was incredibly well put-together and completely focused on guest comfort and keeping the experience wild and wonderful yet pampered and pristine. I’d easily give them 5/5 stars overall, because it was really one of the coolest things I’d ever done (and, like I said before, all at a very reasonable price). 

Once again, though, the main attraction in Zion was not where we stayed, but what we did (and the beautiful sights we saw) there! From ATV riding up to Gooseberry Mesa to hiking the famous, river-wading trail called “The Narrows” in the National Park, we filled our three days in Zion full of outdoor, socially-distanced activity.

The Narrows, in particular, was another of the more challenging hikes I’d ever done. Starting on a paved riverside walk trail before forcing hikers to dive straight into the Virgin River, The Narrows is a miles-long excursion upstream toward the area where the slot canyon “narrows” to an extraordinary point, allowing only a few hikers to get through at a time beyond a certain area a few miles upstream in the riverbed. Yep, that’s right— you hike *in* the river, wading waist-deep at times over slick rocks and rushing currents, trying your best to utilize hiking sticks and your best water-proof hiking boots to not fall over every few feet.

Truth be told, I fell a few times while hiking The Narrows and Andrew did as well (much less than me, though), but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. My only advice would be to use caution, because the river can become pretty high at points (even though we were lucky, going at a pretty low cubic-feet per minute time of year), and occasionally some insidious algal blooms can spring up in the Virgin River. Basically, that means always wash up before and after going into the water, and DO NOT get it in your eyes, nose or mouth. Also, don’t let pets drink the water, and it would really be all but impossible to take pets on this particular trail, anyways. That said, if you use caution and hike at a low-tide time of year, The Narrows is only moderately challenging and is well worth seeing at least once in your life. It certainly rounded out our Zion trip, as it took the entire first half of our last day there to do it.

Our last evening in Zion consisted of sipping Cava under the stars (courtesy of the Embers bar and restaurant at Under Canvas Zion) and soaking in the beautiful, mountain views one last time from the top of the Canyon Rim trail inside the park. In the morning, we’d head to Bryce Canyon and Goblin Valley in a marathon-style car trip along I-70. 

Last but Not Least: Roughing it in Goblin Valley

After a short stop in Bryce Canyon on the road out of Zion (which was also beautiful, by the way, standing at an impressive 8,000 feet and FULL of awesome-looking hoodoos and other rock formations) Andrew and I made our way toward Goblin Valley State Park. Stopping in tiny, historic cowboy towns for photos and take-out food along the way, we barreled down highway 70 toward the State Park and the secluded campsite we’d reserved there. 

Upon arrival, Andrew and I ran through the “Goblin Valley”, which is really one of the weirdest yet most beautiful places I’ve ever been! Surrounded by strange rock formations called “goblins” (i.e, tiny hoodoos) we found weird little (and some not so little) rocks stacked up in all shapes and sizes. It was truly such a strange sight, as the goblins stretched on for yards and yards, popping up out of seemingly nowhere and standing stoic in the vast valley beyond. 

Perhaps even more impressive was the camping at Goblin State Park, which allowed us to stay completely secluded in our tent and view the most stars I’d ever seen. As a West Virginia gal I’m used to seeing plenty of stars in the dark, rural sky at night, but this was different— you could actually *see* the swirling clouds of the Milky Way galaxy streaking the black backdrop of the night, with what seemed like millions of little stars dotting it all around. It took my breath away, and Andrew and I fell asleep gazing up at it all through our tent mesh. 

When we woke up, the stars were all but gone, and we headed back to Moab for one more day of horseback riding, sightseeing, and poolside chilling before our flight home. What a trip it had been. 

Our Utah trip was (honestly) so exhausting yet completely worth it, beautiful yet strikingly different from any other natural landscape I’d encountered before, freeing yet comforting, and full of excitable joy yet complete calm in all the best ways. If you ever get a chance to do Utah (whether socially distanced and responsibly, or post-pandemic), I’d highly recommend visiting the beautiful state. 

If COVID-19 has taught us anything, it’s that “plans” don’t always pan out the way we think they will. 

That being said, and in interest of looking toward the future in which time all of this will be behind us, I’ve decided to shift my thinking around five and ten year “plans” more toward five and ten year “goals.” The difference? Instead of “planning” things and expecting them to happen within a set timeline, I’m being more fluid with my expectations and giving myself the “goal” of hopefully achieving specific things over the next five to ten years.

My five and ten year goals are things I want out of life, with realistic times to achieve them (i.e., between now and the next five years, I’d like to do blah, blah, blah.) Here are some of my five and ten year goals:

5 Year Goals— “in the next five years, I want to…”

1. Get at least one speaking role in a feature film or TV program

2. Buy a home 

3. Get back to festivals and concerts, as many as I can!!

4. Visit another (new) continent, like Asia

5. Visit the Amalfi Coast in Italy 

——-

10 Year Goals— “in the next ten years, I want to…”

1. Buy a second/vacation/beach home (like a condo in The Outer Banks, for example)

2. Become a mom (at least one kid, maybe two before I’m 35)

3. Have visited all the continents (besides Antarctica)

4. Be in a good position in my career/be in a leadership position in my field of work

5. Try to get even more speaking roles in feature films, be signed by an agency 

________

So, what are your future goals? What’s your realistic timeline for achieving them? I’m a firm believer that even the small amount work we put in today directly affects our success later on in life. 

Note: since the writing of this article it has been revealed that Loren Ashton of Bassnectar has had sexual misconduct allegations come out against him. The music meant to me what it meant to me at the time, but now I am no longer interested in supporting the movement. Do some research and learn more about the incident, and let’s all help one another (ESPECIALLY the victims of sexual abuse) heal during this time.

(Come to find out, many of my “wellness” posts are about music. Music is a great coping mechanism for many people with mental illness— and without— and I love celebrating that with everyone! Since I can’t go to festivals this year, sharing music here with everyone is a great way for me to experience that cathartic feeling in a new, digital way. Anyways…)

Some days I wake up and feel ready to roll. Others, I wake up and need a *boost*, ya know? Lately, two albums released just this year (and a few songs from each, more specifically) have given me that early morning, or late night, jolt of energy and motivation I’ve desperately needed. Those include none other than…

Albums by two of my all-time favorite artists: EDM and social change vehicle Bassnectar, and the legendary Lady Gaga. In one of my previous posts I discussed Gaga’s impact on my life through her lyrics dealing with mental health, trauma, self-acceptance, and more, but this time I want to dive a little deeper into her album ‘CHROMATICA’, as well as Bassnectar’s latest full-length, ‘All Colors.’  

First up, ‘CHROMATICA.’

Gaga’s sixth full-length effort, ‘CHROMATICA,’ is another testament to the star’s ever-evolving image, as well as a reminder of her constant, core message: accept yourself, you were *born this way.* 

The opening track on the album, after the first interlude (“CHROMATICA I”), is titled “Alice,” and it will give you ALL the dance-floor, get-to-work, let’s-go-girls vibes that you’ll ever need. Seriously, this track will get you moving in moments. As Gaga croons, “My name isn’t Alice / But I’ll keep looking, I’ll keep looking for Wonderland,” you can feel the inquisitive nature of the statement come to life. What are *you* looking for? How long will you keep looking? Well, in Gaga’s case (and mine), she’ll keep looking, she’ll keep looking for Wonderland. TL;DR? Never stop dreaming, reaching out, exploring, going further. Keep on keeping on, y’all. 

Another track on LG’s sixth effort that I absolutely love (and that makes my body move in sheer celebration) is “Free Woman.” Ladies, this one is for us, and it’s a complete banger. Gaga sings, “This is my dance floor / I fought for,” and that resonates. Truly, this one hits close to home; for every woman (or person, in general, regardless of gender identity) that has fought to be where they are today, this song is a celebration. An anthem. A true testament to the work you’ve put in, and the rewards you’ve reaped (or will reap very soon.) TL;DR? This one is empowering in every way, celebrating how far you’ve come and the work you’ve put in. Look at you go!

Last but not least, ‘All Colors.’ 

‘All Colors,’ Nectar’s latest full-length effort, is full of original mixes, redux tracks, and Bass Remedy remixes. Two original tracks in particular amplify the project’s message of social change, acceptance, and healing through music and community, and they are…

“Nice and Easy,” featuring Rodney P., for starters. Not only does this track have a wildly hype intro, it also has genuine lyrical substance. Referencing the current situation surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic, Rodney P. speaks over the beat, “Inside for the people,” celebrating the bass community’s commitment to the safety and solidarity of all humans during this wild (and dangerous) time. P. goes on, “We plant the seed, and the Bass is the nectar / To feed the bees (…) / We got the medicine to cure your disease.” If that’s not a perfect summation of Bassnectar’s commitment to the community, then I don’t know what is. TL;DR? This track celebrates what the Bassheads already knew— that Bassnectar is more than Loren Ashton making music. It’s a movement that celebrates life, love, music and community in the best ways.

Next up is “Rewind the Track,” which starts with a Ashel Seasunz rapping over a relatively simple beat, “Ayo, feel this sound / Clash this, spastic…” but the true message comes in the next few lines, which declare, “Backflip, knock the world off axis / (…) Rewind the track, rewind the track again.” Like, WOW— if that doesn’t energize you, I’m not sure what will; the image of doing a literal backflip while the beat amps up to a fever-pitch is enough to get me going anytime, any day. TL;DR? Get up, get moving, and “knock the world off axis” with your immovable dedication, flow, and pure energetic expression. You got this!

There are many more songs off each album worth writing about (these are truly some “no skips” records, TBH), but I digress— go listen for yourselves and let the magical, musical sounds fill up your souls and move your body. You won’t regret it. 

Since COVID-19 struck, my husband and I have been looking for new, creative ways to socially distance. After the first few months of strict stay-at-home orders gave way to slightly less restrictive social distancing measures, we’ve been on the hunt for an interesting (albeit remote) change of scenery. However, being our budget-conscious selves, we knew we needed to get creative.

We started our hunt for some remote vacation spots in West Virginia, our home state. Simply leaving Philly for WV felt like such a relief amidst the pandemic craziness, and since we’ve been back we’ve found countless remote hiking and camping spots that really feel like a vacation spot. Sandstone, WV, for example, is home to some of the most gorgeous mountains and waterfalls I’ve ever seen. Seriously, LOOK at it:

While in WV, we talked with our family about a place we could *all* go to get a change of scenery while staying safe (since most of them had been in WV this whole time, after all), and we settled for a beach location. Luckily, one of the cousins in our family happens to own a beach house in Duck, North Carolina (which is smack-dab in the Outer Banks!)

The Outer Banks of North Carolina have been another perfect spot to socially distance; they’re far more remote and far *less* populous than popular tourist beaches (like Myrtle Beach, SC), and by leveraging the use of a family home (and splitting other costs between family members) we’ve been able to stay on-budget while we explore the remote light-houses, go “crab hunting” on the coast, and generally chill out in the sand by the ocean.

Who knows where we will end up after OBX? As I write this, my husband and I are wracking our brains for other safe yet welcoming change-of-scenery locales to spend time while we continue to work remotely due to COVID-19.

So, what are you up to this summer? I’m a firm believer that even on a tight budget you can make camping, couch surfing, or the like an adventurous (and budget friendly!) vacation, even during a pandemic. Preferably pick somewhere you can drive to (like a national park or national seashore) and camp or stay on the cheap. If you’re able to swing it, it’s worth it just to get out for a while and explore the great outdoors. If you ask me, it’s the best way to do social distancing.

I’d rather be dry,

But at least I’m alive—

Rain on me,

Rain on me…

Pre-2020 Miranda was doing extremely “well” on her mental health journey. She was thriving, finally settling into a routine in a new city, successfully transitioning out of therapy, in a career she loved and happy (if young) marriage. Then? January 2020 rolled around.

Things seemed normal at first. News started flying that a strange, novel illness had appeared in Asia. Mine and Andrew’s birthdays came and passed, and then things got real (and fast).

The last day I went to work like I normally would was March 12th, 2020. I haven’t been back since. Everything has become work from home, fear for your job security (as millions file for unemployment weekly), and try to keep yourself and your family safe. Life went from thrive-mode to survive-mode overnight, and suddenly, I wasn’t okay anymore.

Mental illness has always been a significant obstacle in my life. Now is no different— as a pandemic rages and my life has been upended (acting opportunities suddenly dashed, my office space suddenly non-existent, my primarily social hobbies indefinitely on hold), I’ve felt a significant loss of identity throughout the course of 2020, and that has resulted in a good amount of emotional turmoil.

(I’ll add that I’m extremely thankful, grateful, and fortunate to have not lost anyone I know personally from COVID-19. The pain I’m sure many people are feeling due to loss of a loved one is beyond what I can imagine. This is not to detract from that; just to add a discussion about mental health to the ongoing pandemic conversation.)

My first reaction was to talk to family— my husband, my mother and father, my closest friends who are more like family to me. My husband and I went home to West Virginia in May (when it seemed more safe to do so), which helped immensely. Just being able to hug my mother made a huge difference in my pandemic outlook, honestly. However, the one thing I often turn to in times of trouble and turmoil— dancing like no one is watching at a festival or show with a group of my closest friends (my favorite form of therapy)— was “cancelled” until further notice.

So, what do you do then? You can’t dance in a crowd of thousands. You can’t even be near people that don’t live in the same household as you. You can’t participate in your favorite, funky forms of therapeutic movement and celebration…

So you crank up the music in your own car, sing at the top of your lungs, and car-dance like no one is watching.

Lady Gaga’s sixth album, Chromatica, dropped at the perfect time (as do all of her albums, truly). The first time I heard “Rain on Me,” a leading single from the album featuring Ariana Grande, my heart sang with joy. This explained exactly how I’d been feeling not only lately, but over the weeks and months and years of my life that I’d been dealing with mental illness. The lyrics, “I’d rather be dry, but at least I’m alive— rain on me, rain on me,” sang directly to my soul. I understand if that sounds incredibly corny, but that’s honestly how it feels at times— things could be better, I’d rather be “dry”, but hell, at least I’m “alive”. So bring on the rain.

Driving down the road blaring Gaga songs (among many other artists’ magnum opus) is nothign new to me. Remember her album Joanne? Another absolute triumph in pop-music, IMHO. That album also offers a lovely, empowering track titled “Diamond Heart,” which a gal from West Virginia (like me) can appreciate for its country-pop coarseness and raw lyrical content. Gaga sings, “Young, wild American— come on, baby, do you have a girlfriend? Rain on me a million; I’m not flawless, but, I’ve got a diamond heart…”

I’d like to think of myself that way. I’m not flawless— this mental illness, among all the other flaws that make me and everyone else “human”, can make me feel so ironically complete in my brokenness at times— but I’ve got a diamond heart. I try to be the best person I can be. I try to stay in constant motion, always moving forward. I cut through the rough and tumble and persevere, no matter what my brain, my life, or any other internal-or-external circumstances may bring my way.

So, even though I’m not “okay” right now, I will be. We will be.

Rain. On. Me.

Morocco was easily the most magical place I’ve ever visited. From the scent of local spice markets filling the city air, to the quiet retreat of the Atlas Mountains and back, Morocco is a country I would visit again, and again, and again.

Our journey to Morocco began with an idea. After multiple trips to Europe my husband and I began to feel restless. Where could we go to experience something even more exciting? Where could we find even richer history, culture, and cuisine? We scoured the Internet for ideas and inspiration, and stumbled upon a suggestion: why not visit Marrakech, Morocco?

Morocco. Located in the northwestern corner of the African continent, Morocco boasts some of the world’s best and most beautiful travel destinations (Casablanca, anyone?) We were intrigued… so we dug a little deeper. 

It turns out it’s pretty cheap to fly from Dublin, Ireland to Marrakech. And, coincidentally, it’s just as cheap to fly from Philadelphia, PA to Dublin! (My husband and I *never* pay more than a couple hundred dollars for a round-trip plane ticket. It’s just not going to work with our budget. So cheap is key, here.) 

We began scouring dates when it’s cheapest to visit both countries. We booked a trip for November 2019, which coincided with what us Americans know as the Thanksgiving holiday. Being non-traditional (we hadn’t truly celebrated Thanksgiving in years, always opting to take the cheap vacation rates available at that time anyways) we went ahead and booked our flights. Round-trip from Philly to Dublin with a Dublin to Morocco round-trip sandwiched perfectly in between. We’d have a day in Dublin on each end of our journey (with a lucky layover in Barcelona on our last day— yay!) and a sufficient five days to explore Marrakech and the Atlas Mountain region in Morocco. We were beside ourselves, and *beyond* ready to get out of dodge.

But, wait! There’s more! (Lord, forgive me for the use of that terrible cliché. 😅) Before we set off on our Moroccan adventure, we had to find a place to stay, and things to actually *do* there. Morocco is beautiful and culturally tantalizing all on its own, but we wanted to see as much as we could see and do as much as we could do while we were there. So, the second phase of our research began.

Come to find out, tourists in Morocco can stay relatively inexpensively (yet very comfortably) in local bed and breakfast-like homes, called “Riads”, right in the middle of Marrakech’s Medina, or Old City. We opted to skip the ridiculously priced chain resorts (sorry, Four Seasons!) and stay in a beautiful, family-owned and operated Riad in the heart of the Medina called Riad Chayma. (More on that later— long story short, it was an AMAZING stay!)

Now that flights and accommodations had been booked, we needed to check one more box off of our travel checklist: excursions, adventures, and sight-seeing activities all the like. Luckily, TripAdvisor is nearly 100% community sourced when it comes to rates and reviews of different attractions, so we pretty quickly found some locally-owned tour companies that offered a wide variety of city tours, mountain excursions, and other activities (like almond butter making classes— yum!) We booked an all-day excursion online that listed a pretty impressive itinerary, and decided to take ourselves sightseeing the other days (thanks, Internet) for free to save some cash (which is ALWAYS important to us when traveling). 

Before we knew it (and after all that planning), it was time to board our flight to Ireland, then from Ireland to Morocco.

Since this is already decently wordy, I’ll tell the rest of the tale in photos, below. From our incredible stay in Riad Chayma to the beautiful tour we took of the Atlas Mountains with a local tour guide, visiting Morocco changed my life. Seriously. 

If you have any questions about visiting Morocco (or any of the countries we’ve been to) and would like to learn more, just shoot me a message. I’m always happy to answer any questions friends and family may have about our travels, including budgeting, planning, etc. 

Click through the gallery to enjoy the photos! 

xoxo, MM.

Well, well, well. This year certainly hasn’t been anything at all like any of us thought it would be— and that’s okay, I guess. It’s been painful for so many (see: global pandemic), and has revealed many ugly truths about systems in place and their inherent deficiencies. However, we will get through it. We always do; and here’s why.

I’ll start by saying this: if 2020 has taught me anything (and this is a lesson I believe I’ve needed to learn for many years before now), it’s that you can’t tie anything in life to expectation. You can’t expect things to pan out one way or another way. You can’t expect a situation to be something (because trust me, it won’t be). You have to live; you have to keep moving forward; you have to take it day by day, moment by moment, and be fully present in the “now”. 

Things won’t always be perfect. Hell, perfect situations in this world don’t even exist. When you project your idea of “perfection” onto anything (or anyone, for that matter) you are setting yourself up for disappointment, and, frankly, being unfair— to both yourself and everyone else. Nobody’s perfect, and projecting is just an extension of our own ego leading us down a path of bitterness, resentment, and (once again) disappointment.

I’m not saying don’t hope or strive for anything; that’s not what I’m getting at here. Hope is all we have, really, and I’m an eternal optimist always looking forward to the future. I’m saying that it won’t always be easy, and maybe “perfect” won’t look like the carbon copy you’ve created in your mind… and that’s okay. 

2020 is a lot of things, but it’s a hell of a great example as to why we can’t project “perfection” onto anything. Life is weird, and hard, and tricky, and joyous, and wonderful, and wild all at once. And there can be pain. Inevitably, there will be pain. And we can grieve it. We can rest. And, like I said, that’s okay! But… we can also rise.

Life can be all of those things (sometimes all at once?), and still yet we can go with the flow. We can ride the waves. We can strive toward a better future and work hard to be the change we want to see, all while accepting the setbacks and hard times that might occur. We can do all of those things simultaneously, and end our urge to seek out “perfection” in any given situation. We can simply exist, and strive for better, and allow that to be exactly enough for now… because right now, we are exactly where we are supposed to be. 

xoxo, MM.